It's another Sunday wrap

So it's another sunday, and one very enjoyable one today. So much bonding with my kid and I still have this happy smile on my face, few hours since he began his night sleep, remembering all the fun we had today. Never had I thought that I could find the most wonderful companion in the heart of a one year old kid.

I can just stop this blog post here, for the risk of getting a bit more sentimental.
But heck, this is my blog right :) so i go on :D

So i looked into his eyes today and you know I wish what thoughts were rummaging in my mind could transcend to his eyes and into his mind, but I guess he knows it already. That I do love this little man of the purest heart! And I am just so thankful that this boy was the winner of a long-long race when he was still in mili-micro-metre size and emerged victorious, to come out into this world and finally born to us.

It's amazing to experience a developing interaction with your little kid and how fast the improvement of communication is. Like yesterday, i was looking for his water tumbler in the living room. And I was saying 'minum-minum' while my hands were pretending to hold a bottle and my lips doing 'sipping' motion, while i walked around the house to look for it. He looked at me and i just thought he is  trying so hard to understand what i was trying to do, and the next thing I knew, he looked around and found the bottle for me. Wow!
And how can I not mention all the silly dances (rather, moves) I do to make him smile, that not only draws his grin, but his loud laughter at times. And the hi-5 that we do. And the mini-tent games we play under the blanket :D
I love the way we are. So you know, this day I do feel very thankful, for the home that i am provided, for the luxury of time i have, for the good health that accompany me, for the work that doesn't stress me too much, all these co-exist together so well so I am able to spend precious time with my little child. What more can I ask.

15 months

Marks the first time he successfully climbs onto the coffee table himself.
He was so proud of it, he just sat down wriggling his legs left and right grinning from ear to ear.
(now, i do worry the glass will break soon).

running...

Gak nyangka juga, akhirnya gw mulai berlari... setelah sekian lama gak lari...
Awalnya liat beberapa temen di social media yang consistenly berlari, terus liat2 kok semakin mewabah. Selama beberapa bulan, gw cuma silent watcher aja sih... gw pikir, gw lebih pilih berada di rumah, ngabisin wkt ama anak gw, kangen klo udah seharian di kantor n rasanya anak gw butuh deh interaksi ama gw buat pertumbuhan dia (**sok bijak nih, padahal anaknya jg gak apa-apa** ya maklum jg maklum ibu dengan anak pertama mgkn rata2 memang instict melindungi anak seperti ini?). Udah gitu, dengan jadwal dia secara rata2 selalu kebangun 2-3 kali tiap malam buat nyusu smp dia umur setaon-an bikin body gw cukup tepar deh (**Loh, sekarang malah nyalahin anak hahaha**). Plus, klo soal lari, sebenarnya yg kebayang-bayang di gw itu cape2nya gw dulu pas rutin lari waktu SMA, inget di tengah2 lari mikir kok gak nyampe2 or cape ngedorong diri sendiri buat pace yg cukup okeh (yang bagian feel glorynya abis nyelesain lari udah lupa).

Tapi akhirnya mindset gw mulai berubah, n didukung jg oleh body gw yg semakin ready jg. At least, gw dah gak berasa gempor lagi pagi2 abis tidur dengan interrupted sleep. Anak gw udah gak sesering dulu bangun (ya masih aja sih bangun tengah malam, n kadang2 balik lagi kaya dulu klo lagi teething). Terus gw pagi2 jg udah gak seribet dulu pas masa 6-14 bulan musti nyiapain makan anak buat hari itu (dah lebih percaya ke si Mbak sekarang n jg anak gw dah bisa makan lbh banyak jenis makanan kan). Itu secara kesiapan fisik yah.
Secara mindset, mungkin ini yg lebih penting or at least a-must-nya yah (klo body siap, tp mental gak beranjak, emm... kayanya gw jg gak akan mulai2), keinginan utk mulai n mewujudkannya ini nih katalisatornya. So thanks terutama utk teman2 n even org2 yg gak gw kenal yg kelintas di TL twitter gw or baca2 di blog, yg consistenly berlari, makin improve pace n distance mereka n share ke public. Wow, positive influencer banget deh, efeknya kayanya kaya ombak bergulung2 yg semakin gede, krn kayanya sebelum gw udah banyak banget org2 lain yg keinfluence duluan ama lari oleh wanita2 hebat ini.

Lari pertama sekitar 4 minggu yg lalu. So far, gw baru lari di area dlm condo gw sih, enak deket, suasana nyaman n gak perlu parno ama safety. Dan lari pertama gw, jarak 2.4km. Wow, surprise jg bisa sampe jarak segitu gak pake berenti/jalan, hihihi. Mengingat terakhir gw lari, adalah waktu gw hamil 7 or 8 bulan, itupun mgkn pacenya udah mirip jalan cepat dan kayanya gak pernah deh lewat dari 2km. Enaknya lagi, sekarang bulan November gini, udah masuk musim ujan... **November Rain.. Kriuk..** jadi lari pagi temenan ama udara adem, enak deh. So lari dengan pace sendiri yg enak, gak kelewat cepet, tapi yg penting nafas lancar gak ngos2an, biar bisa aga long distance (eh buat gw 2.4km udah jauh hihihi). Lagian gw pikir,  dah gak Abg lagi nih, gak usah mikirin speed, yg penting latihan utk bisa cover more distance ajah. Kaya lari2 maraton gitu banyak org2 dewasa 40th-an yg bisa ikut bukan? N ternyata gw lupa klo running outdoor gini, jauh lebih enak ya daripada lari di threadmill. Ada pemandangan, ada angin2 sepoi natural. Jadi inget dulu wkt di Jakarta, kayanya taon2 terakhir gw coba lari lagi itu selalu di Gym dan gak pernah berhasil pick-up. Kayanya gw bosen-an yah lari di threadmill, kaya gak nyampe2 selalu di tempat yg sama. ya iya lah, org lari di ban berjalan.

So ok, by now Nike+ (sumpah, aplikasi kaya gini keren banget deh) gw udah record ampir 20km, dengan 7x lari. berarti rata2 2.4-3km gitu sekali gw lari. So far, gw lari 2x seminggu ajah. Pengennya 3x seminggu, tp dengan kondisi single mum on the weekend, susah nih buat nambahin 1x jadwal. Oh ya, di lain hal, karena gw punya sejarah ankle kiri terkilir (padahl udah lama wkt SMA) n sampe bertaon2 gw lari setelah itu, even wkt hamil kemarin, gw selalu bisa ngerasain balik mata kaki gw ini gak bener2 pulih. Jadi gw rada2 parno jg wkt mulai lari kemarin2. Stretching gw bisa lebih lama dari masa lari. Pemanasan 20 menit, lari 15 menit, pendinginan 15 menit hihihi. Tapi ga papa, ternyata magically ankle gw sampe hari ini gak berasa ada yg sakit/sensitif atau apa loh. Sempet ada pegel2 di tungkai kiri (parno kalo shin splint), terus abis lari ke-2/3, sensitifnya pindah ke lutut kanan.. tapi masing2 ini setelah istirahat total 3 hari gak balik lagi sih. Jadi satu lagi mental note buat gw, gw selalu mastiin gw rest total dulu sampe pegel/sensitifnya di kaki gw ilang, baru lari lagi. takut boo cedera..

So happy that i can conquer my own skepticism on picking up running. Mudah2an gw bisa konsisten lebih lama dalam berlari :) .

Oyah, gw juga register utk Brooks Half-Marathon di bulan Maret depan... tapi... bukan yg 21km Nek... hihhi.. cuma yg 5km ajah. sebenarnya kategorinya namanya kategori 'Schoolgirl'.. tp gw liat gak ada batasan maximum age. ya wes lah, antem aja online registration. **kan tampang gw masih layak utk anak sekolahan** hihhi**dilempar sepatu ama yg baca**. Oyah satu lagi sebenarnya event ini cuma utk Malaysian n Singaporean (kenapa Singaporean boleh, tp Indonesian gak boleh? heran deh). Gak tau ya, mungkin nanti pas ngambil RacePack gw bakal ditendang keluar, tp ya let's try lah. It's not like i'm going to win a prize anyway. But just trying to run happy n thought it will be fun to do it by joining an event :) Plus ini jadi semacam fixed target buat latihan lari gw.
Mudah2an by then, gw udah bisa ngecover 5km run beberapa kali :) Wish me luck.

10-11-12

Boleh dong ikutan ngeramein tanggal cantik 10-11-12. Tak dirasa, tanggal ini merayakan 5 tahun pernikahan me & hubby. This day this year gak ada special rose or anniversary cake, just a few phonecalls from the other side of the globe where he currently is to mark the moment (well, the first few calls were a few hours too early from the day :) ).

And i didnt even think to blog it till i heard on the radio this marriage joke:
Q: Marriage involves 3 rings, what are they?
A: Engagement Ring, Wedding Ring, and.... Suffer-ring... *LOL*
well actually the 3rd one should be replaced by "Endu-ring"

so, clink-clink.., here is for our endurance. Just like a race, hope we run and stick together till the finish line, and finish strong!

What i am hearing now is... "Do...." --> Doggy, "Ja" --> Gajah. "Tuh"... --> Jatuh. "Mik..." --> Nenen. "Mak." --> Nenen or Mam.
Keep going my little boy!

14 Months

Actually I dont know how long i can keep up recording his monthly milestones, because there are so many things happening and I'm sure there will be more that it's gonna be difficult to track. Anyway, here are the latest things that amuse me:
- He gets people to help him do what he want when he cant. For example, he always says 'uh uh..' while pointing at what interests him for us to help pick it up & give to him. When he wants to be carried by me, he will hold my legs and stomp his feet multiple times. And the last 'brainer' thing he did, was last night, he saw his favourite shampoo bottle (the one with the pump at the top which he can munch (and suck out the liquid a little bit) ) on the high table. He of course sought for my attention and asked me to take it for him. When he saw that i was doing nothing to help him. He actually walked out of the room, and went to my maid's room to call her. When she's out to follow him, he went to point to the bottle to ask her to pick it up for him. Haha, see he finds ways to get what he wants. i found it quite resourceful i must say! My doctor told me the day will come he will find ways to get things such as pushing a stool so he can climb onto it to reach top of table, but my boy thought of another simpler way, call other people for help!

- He chooses how much he wants to eat and the boy got taste! Now, i have to start racking my brain (and the internet) for some tasty meals for him. He is not so interested in bland food anymore or maybe he got bored with all the steamed-but-so-easy to prepare stuff. Since he's few months past 1 year, i have relegated for a tiny bit of salt to be put into his food, as it did make a diff for him to want to eat it. He loves yogurt (fruity one) & mango. I also cooked him spaghetti (one that tasted rally like real tomato-based spagehetti) and he loved it. Salmon alone he didnt really like it. but salmon with cauliflower & white sauce in chicken broth, he finished it! We stop giving him food when he refuses to open his mouth anymore. Hope he's not getting too skinny. As long as he is healthy.

- It is lovely to see him interact with people, esp. if they can really form sort of a bond. I see this amazingly btw him and his grand-pa. He even purposely looked for him several times during the vacay. And within few days was able to call him 'eya' (from eyang), though after mastering that, he doesnt call him by this name anymore. Whenever kiddo sees him, he grins with big smile as he knows he is going to be involved in some sort of 'game' with his grandpa, whether it is play & catch, rhytm and music, flying paper plane, or walk to the garden.

- He is fascinated by moving animals, such as cats and birds (ok, these are the only animals we see in the condo area). If he sees them, he will point to them and make funny amazed noises and will try to run after them.

- He hasnt developed more constantly-repetitive clear meaningful words yet. but he is definitely trying out new expanding phonics, sometimes he repeats word i say (or try to) though i doubt he knows the meaning of it.

- When we say no or 'jangan' or 'gak boleh', the more he will do what he cant do. Before 12 mths, he was obedient, but after that it's the opposite ;p

- He started to enjoy lying down on a soft bed, sitting down comfortably against a pillow, or just sitting down on a stair step, and sleeping while putting his head on my stomach or part of my body. Before this he only knows to sleep straight on a flat bed surface. Also, when i lay him down to sleep in the dark, he can actually enjoy moments of darkness without crying. Heyo, why this not sooner boy? ;p

- He developed interest with his plush toys (we have an ikea buldog, a tiger from the safari zoo, and a small bear), when he sees them he loves carrying them and give it to me one by one (actually dont know whether he likes it or thinks that i like it therefore he always gives them to me). but sometime, he will kiss them too. Oh, and he hardly gives me any kiss when i ask for it. However if i am still really sleeping and he wants me to be awake, he will kiss me :D am a happy mum. so sometimes i pretend to sleep so he can kiss me :P

so many other things, but these are the first thoughts that came to my mind right now.
catch up later!

2 weeks annual vacation 2012

As per every year, working in the same bank i've been, entitles me, or rather, mandates me to take 2 consecutive weeks of absence. The main purpose is to ensure if we ever do something fishy in the bank which requires some form of cover up done on daily basis, this kind of activity would be discovered when we are away for 2 weeks. Anyway, what i wanted to write in this post is how my this year's mandate leave, as we call it, is different in terms of planning, destination, and purpose, as compared to other leaves taken in previous years.

First of all, my 2 weeks vacation is usually spent to wander some unknown destination, or even if it is known/been-there-before, it will be places i've carefully chosen with main purpose to unwind, relax and just experience something different from being at home and explore new things. Secondly, it is usually carefully planned. And third, i go with some loved ones, ie. family circle1. the only exception is last year when i combined my mandate leave together with my 3 months maternity leave, that was heaven at home!

Way from the beginning of the year, i knew the holiday wasnt going to be easy to plan. Husband was free-er in terms of work at the first half of the year, so it was possible for him to actually go for a 2wks break (though timing wise, would still be hard to predict when to exactly go) in the first semester. One of our options and a long-time dream was & (still is) to go Europe together. However, as I was still breastfeeding Adam... I realized there would be some issues by leaving him alone in Malaysia (no way we are bringing him for a romantic 2 wks holiday far away ;p ), how much of breastmilk stock will he need, need to pump extra in order for him to be fully b/m via bottle while i'm away and not sure i could make the stock quota (at that time i was already waking up on avg twice a night to cater for the kiddo's b/f & it was already very tiring and i cannot imagine waking up once more to stock up, as during the day in the office i was already pumping 2-3 times), then will have to resort to to formula milk to top it up.. the last option was actually something i could accept... but the other thing that i couldnt  handle is to pump every 3-4 hours while we were doing our hopping holiday wandering (i had too, otherwise it gives me pain, and also i needed to maintain my production so that when i'm back i can still continue b/f kiddo, and the way to do that is to keep the pumping freq high), and that i will have to throw away the pumped milk as no way i will be travelling from places to places transporting frozen milk (believe me, breastfeeding mums see own b/m like irreplaceable gold bars, as they are so irreplaceable, so no way i'm watching my own b/m go down the drain :) ). I'm sure it would slightly melt before it gets frozen again and the cycle continues, which will make its quality poor, and not to mention the hassle of transporting it. So, i had a clear want and need: only go for long vacay after Adam has reached 1 year old, as his b/m need would have reduced considerably and so will my pumping frequency. The only catch was that hubby dont know if he could take long leave in 2nd half of the year.

So come  june, july, august... work schedule for my husband showed no sign of slacking. In the meantime, my boss is pressing me to clear my leave as soon as possible (my request to defer till december got denied). So here i am, taking my 2 weeks leave in Oct, while hubby till last minute was still on standby for offshore work (he finally left few days after me & kiddo flew off town for our break).

As for where to go, I dont have much choice, either i stay put here in KL or go back 'kampong style' to my parents home. Of course i took the 2nd choice, it's valuable time to spend with my parents. which later proves to be even more beneficial for Adam. In the beginning, I had my doubts whether I could really put myself into 'vacation' mode, since being nanny-less and hubby-less mean that i dont have an equal partner (at least in terms of agility) to take care of the kiddo. it also means that it will be energy-draining days and i wouldnt be able to wander around easily. So ya, it gave me the jigs.

But hey, after spending 2 weeks & back now in KL, all i can say is that for sure i am recharged. especially that i had 3 days of 'recuperatory leave' in KL & i made sure nanny is around even it was the weekend. Adam learnt so many new things with the help of his grandparents, and had so much fun with his grandpa who amazingly interacted very well with Adam. Mum helped prepare his solid food, and he got introduced to variety of food, now he can comfortably munch rice, crackers, pasta n all. So i have stopped cooking porridge altogether! Adam played so much with water (pressurised water from hose, splashing water from pail, flowing water from tap etc), leaves n flower from the garden, chicken and cats, visit to the zoo and beach. What more stuff can he be introduced? Yes, i didnt get to go around to too many places, as much as i would have wanted. But i guess not all holidays need to be spent 'fully charged'. This break was a 'slow-down' mode of vacation. Although not easy at the beginning (being fully charged with rapid pace at work) to move to lower gear, just when i thought i am getting used to it, the vacay ends, but at least i reaped benefit of it, and now, i hope i can pick up the city rhytm back well.

And to my boy, i hope he continues to grow and learn so many things, even in KL and under the well-care of the nanny (esp. when i'm away at work :( )

Right now i am just looking fwd for hubby to be back, to bring more 'life' back into our house. Till then!

ps: pic taken in Kuta Bali. Yes we went to Bali for 4 days and spent the other 7 days in Jogja.

13 Months and going strong

Adam big cornerstone the past month is to start walking. Yap, he has started walking everyday since 1week past 12 months. Few steps at the beginning,then followed by regular of 5-6 metres, and now it's pretty stable, esp. if surface is not bumpy. I can see that he will love to run around the house, as he already tries to, even when he couldnt properly walk like an adult yet.

His 2 lower teeth got 2 new companies, so now he has 8 teeth in total.
Oh another good cornerstone is when he started eating rice willingly, and boy he ate loads of them. It happened on our 2nd day of our Singapore trip. I think he benefitted from having breakfast/lunch/dinner with a big group of us and started immitating how we ate.

Few days ago, I brought him walking in the garden/playing park downstairs and he accidentally saw a cat, albeit quite far from him (10m away). He got very excited and screamed with excitement as he strides towards it. Naturally the cat ran away. But we managed to find him back. The next day I took him out again, purposely to look for the cat. And we actually found 4 cats, some hiding beneath benches or bushes. One, i was quite surprised with the degree of his excitement, but another fact that surprised me is when the next day i brought him to the same place again, he automatically bent down & went to look under the bench and bushes for the cat, even though no cat, while shouting the high-pitched 'mmmmmmm' word the way he's been calling the cats. didnt realize that at 13 months baby does have excellent memory!

photo taken during our trip to SG, Adam close to 13 months.

A quiet sunday morning

what changes since we have a child? A lot definitely, but one of them is how rare to get a quiet sunday morning, with the cool morning air swiping on my face, birds chirping to the delight of my ears, and a hot thick sweet tea to accompany my fingers dancing on the keyboard. Just like right now.

Ahhhh.... let me savour this moment for a while.... :)

Weekends with my boy

It's been at least 5 weeks hubby has not been around as he's away for work. With the home assistant off in the weekends, it's just me and my son in the house. Though it is very tiring to spend time with one busy active little kiddo, I actually look forward for this just-u-and-me time at every end of week :) ... well ok, actually by the end of saturday, i am also soooo... looking forward for my maid to come back the next day afternoon, at least to clean up the house and give me that 'me' moment break ;p

So, here's how we've spent our 2-back-to-back days together:
Waking up: he wakes up first (obviously) and mama always tries to steal more sleeping time, but usually fails miserably as the kid starts playing & tries to catch attention of the mum :)
If I'm still so sleepy, I'll just breastfeed him first, so I can buy more time before i fill myself up with enough energy to make him his breakfast :)

After shower and play, if he's sleepy, he will sleep. Otherwise, I will pick him up and off we go to do the weekly groceries. But usually he does need his morning nap, so I will wait for him to have proper nap (& then followed by lunch), before I take him to the super/hypermarket.

Supermarket shopping with him, means him on the stroller, big shopping bag hung on the stroller, and the heavier shopped stuff put in the stroller basket underneat the seat. It's all about balancing & gravity. I had to remind myself to be careful and not to spontaneously just pick up my kid out of the stroller when he cries, as the stroller may just topple down once he's taken out, as it did happen for the first 2-3 times I picked him up :) He doesnt really last being in the stroller for more than 45 mins.. unless he managed to fall asleep, which is quite rare. So usually i will have to pick him up (boy he's getting heavy) and after 10mins carrying him, I try to put him back cause otherwise my back will break! :P.

In the first few weekends, undaunted, I brought him to malls further away from home, as mama not only wanted to do groceries, but also some real shopping ;p But since he always cries on the back and forth trip in the car seat, I decided I dont want to really go thru it anymore (listening to his cries while i have to drive and focus on the road doesnt go well with my nerves). So after a while, I opted to only go to nearby supermarket/malls, obviously with more limited shopping choice (in terms of non-groceries).
Something 'clicked' in him though 2 weekends ago, it was by accident. Usually the carseat is left in the car and i will only strap him there in the car. But this time, the car seat was at home, and so i attach him to the seat and then I put him & carseat on the stroller (this travel system works, yeay!). He had this puzzled look when he was on a car seat but on a stroller, but i knew he enjoyed it, since he enjoys being put in the stroller (at least for not too long), it tells him he's off for an adventure :) ! And so, once we reached the car, i just had to move the carseat along with him inside to the car, so he didnt experience that 'strapped' feeling all over again. Then he started enjoying the car ride, like he's been enjoying his stroller rides... So from that moment on, he figured it's not such a bad thing to be put in the car seat (if i may read his mind)... he still cries on the trip back though, but it's really due to he's sleepy and want to catch another nap. Usually by the time we get home, he will already fall asleep which always happen only after the car reach our carpark! yeah, i still have to endure for his cries during the drive home, but it's not as bad as before.

In the afternoon, I will bring him out of the house for either some free-gym in the apartment's playground (he loves climbing up the slides & by now he has figured it's fun to go down on it too) or (if there is enough sun and i'm fit enough) i will bring him for a swim (which he looovvvess even more). Swimming is actually also my trick to get him sleep quite fast at night, so i can do other stuff while he's asleep, but it always ends up that i also get tired from swimming, hence means quick dozing off for me too.

Then dinner is around 6-7, bathe (or 3rd bath if he already took a 2nd bath after swim) before some play time, book reading (more of me reading, and him rummaging thru the pages), crawling around (and this includes me crawling too to chase him hehehe), listening to him babble and try to respond accordingly (with real words that try to rhyme his), nursing... then he goes to lullaland. Phew... that's done for the day! I will either doze off with him or spend some time browsing the internet. When the weekend is about to start and while I hurrily pack home from office, I actually always vow to do some office work in the weekend when he's asleep, but most of the time this fails miserably.

Sundays, by this time either i have no more pre-cooked food for lunch or too lazy/tired to cook, i will bring my son out to accompany me eating out. He enjoys sitting in a cafe/resto where there are other people he can observe. So usually i will bring him out after i'm done feeding him, so i can have my peace filling up my own tummy, while his is already filled :)

Feeding him is tantamount to a mess party in the house! I do let him touch the spoon (I have 3 spoons ready everytime i feed him), sometimes he dips his fingers into the bowl tryting to touch the food, then he will spurt out his food, throw the spoons repeatedly to the floor just to watch me picking them up and he will do the same thing all over again etc... but hey as long as he's willing to open his mouth, i'm game for it! afterall, we just want our babies to be well fed right. So the downside is... I will have a sticky supermessy floor and table by the end of it. so sticky that even wiping it with a wet floor doesnt do justice, that is why i say i am so looking forward for my maid to be back by this time :)

So afternoons, will be spent game-ing with him again, while i wait for my maid to be back. I have to say that handling him at this point of time is less tiring then a few months ago, as now he is more playful and easier to entertain :). Then before I know it the weekend is already over, and I do feel a bit sad that it's already over and that I have to be away from him the next day. But I know I will be him fully again in 5 days time :).

ps: I realized I mentioned a few times on the presence of my nanny/house assistant. I am surely thankful we can have such arrangement. And it surely made me realize motherhood and attending the house at the same time is not an easy job, so I salute all mums out there who can do it all by themselves, really hats off!

Look where i'm pointing Ma

Note: This is a post when Adam was #11 months.
Adam has mastered one obvious word, 'mbak'. Ya, unfortunately, he's using it in a very obvious manner, that i cant deny it. #nasib emak2 ninggalin anaknya kerja.
Of course i try to make him catch up with the word mama, but at first he kept saying babababaa, now a little bit of progress, when he feels like it he may change it to papamama.. #maybe just to make me a little bit happier, hehehe.

But ya,back to the original topic of this post, since beyond those words, he cant really spell out other names, he is using his finger to point to things that pick up his interest. It kind of amazed me that he picked up this kind of skill, seems like out of a sudden or out of the blue, when in reality it's really not out of nowhere - we all heard it before 'kids copy what their parents do', 'baby see, baby do', 'kids are like sponge, absorbing everything around them' etc.

Another example is when he picked up the fan remote control and started pointing it to the fan. Nevermeant to teach him that, but he just figured there must be some connection between the remote control and the fan, since every adult (me, dad, and the assistant) seem to be doing it now and then :)

so i guess, this is a reminder to me, how a kid's brain evolves fast, and to watch out for my own behaviour ;p otherwise he may just end up copying what i dont want him to copy ;)

1 year old

TGFH. Thank God for him. Our blossoming gift of joy, who continues to unwrap himself, revealing to us every layer of happiness that we didn't know existed as he grows each day.
I myself as a parent is enjoying and savouring every moment of it. Ah Adam, u bring the longest smile to our face and to our heart. May you grow healthily, handsome inside out, cheerful, and protected by our Lord always.

xoxo, proud parents of you, Mam and Papa.

Happy face, happy mummy

Motherhood, gender equality, multi-tasking etc

Are these topics myths, something achievable, or utopic state?

Every a few other days, I am bound to bump into this topic, be it by (accidentally) eavedropping some conversations of strangers around me, conversating it myself with friends, reading articles from the internet, youtube clips, friends thought & opinion, and so on.

I must admit that there are a lot of good thoughts, carefully articulated opinions, and well-founded arguments on this topic out there. Certainly there are no myths for the everyday's dillemma that a lot of mothers go thru, and if not everyday, at least some points of their lives. ie. domestic world vs working world, taking care of our children personally or taking care of ourselves first (which sometimes means taking care of our career first), and working-mum or SAHM (stay-at-home) mum, though i dont really like the last 2 terms, after all a mum who is full time at home is also a fully-working mum!

Following are some excerpts:

- Anne-Marie Slaugher, a successful woman in Obama's administration, wrote a long article on why she finally quit her dream job to be with her family instead. http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2012/07/why-women-still-can-8217-t-have-it-all/9020/. Excerpt:

EIGHTEEN MONTHS INTO my job as the first woman director of policy planning at the State Department, a foreign-policy dream job that traces its origins back to George Kennan, I found myself in New York, at the United Nations’ annual assemblage of every foreign minister and head of state in the world. On a Wednesday evening, President and Mrs. Obama hosted a glamorous reception at the American Museum of Natural History. I sipped champagne, greeted foreign dignitaries, and mingled. But I could not stop thinking about my 14-year-old son, who had started eighth grade three weeks earlier and was already resuming what had become his pattern of skipping homework, disrupting classes, failing math, and tuning out any adult who tried to reach him.

- A very inspiring and honest speech by ravishing Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg at HBS 2012 graduating class. She touches on gender equality towards the end of her speech.

However, for me, it all boils down to a personal choice. I dont believe we can have it all. For every preference we choose, surely we are letting go of something else. I also am not a multi-tasker. Though there is the adage that women are great in multitasking, I never believe I am one of them. I tend to overspecialize on something (and I tend to be choosy on this, choosing on one that I enjoy doing best and live the rest almost to oblivion) rather than on many things simultaneously. So for me, the topic of gender equality, the need to nurture and mentor more women so that more of us can be at the top of the business ladder, because we are a different sex than men and therefore have a different need, I still cannot fully comprehend the need of this.

Yes, I do see the benefit of mentoring for aspiring women in the professional world, but also equally in men. But I also believe this will come naturally for everyone, whoever performs the best will be rewarded and career advanced. Maybe I am too naive, or I am too fortunate to work in a pretty fair -working environment, hence I have not seen mal-practice on this? 

As I walk on this path of motherhood, I cant help to observe how my peers are threading their own paths. I am quite surprised that not only one or two of the brightest people I know have decided to quit their job to shift their focus to their growing child instead. Let me count.. there are at least 5 of them already.

So on one end of the spectrum, I see this fight that many women leaders are championing in the business world, that is, to give more way to women to excel at work. But on the other end, I also see many are happy to let go of their (professional) title and be rightfully at the heart of their home and happy about it! So, I do not think that satisfaction or excellence in one's life, especially in the scope of motherhood, can only be achieved in one way. I think every woman has their own different situation and what is the best arrangement/solution for one cannot necessarily be the same for another mum.

Let's not even talk about others for the moment, but consider myself. Until today I still choose to work, because of these reasons: a) I want to be independent and have a stable source of income and build a solid work resume, because the 'road' is still a long way to go. If there is anything that may go wrong in the future or that i do not surely expect to happen, I will still be able to support myself (and my small family) financially. b) Despite my numerous rants about problems at work, at the end of the day, it still gives me more satisfaction than dissatisfaction. It gives me reasonable challenge, reasonable tasks (so far) and exercise my mind. c) I am lucky my work is very flexible in terms of time. Today I came to the office at 11am. Most of the times I can come around 10-10.30 am and I find work is still manageable and my boss does not complain (though of course some nights I work my ass out from home). I can also bring back unfinished work to home, so I can have an early dinner/be home before the baby sleeps. d) Until today, I am lucky to have a home assistant. The baby is well taken care of (and well loved) in a one-to-one relationship. In some countries, this will probably be way too expensive to maintain.

Ya, so this arrangement still works for me. I do not know if it will still work down the road in a few years. There are some questions that still linger in my mind. Like will my assistant be able to teach my kids the things that I would like my kids to learn at his young age: words and reading, good manner, good habits, good discipline, good heart. will my assistant quality match with my (high) standard? I do have big question marks on this. Even by asking myself these questions, I can sense why some of my friends had quit their jobs, willingly. I think it also has got to do with perfectionism i must say.

But I have also seen very sucessful mums at work with very successful (very well behaved, smart, and kind) children. Unfortunately, there are not  many. In fact, I find there are more sucessful single women at the top of my work orgchart who are single than those who have family and children, let alone "successful children". For the sucessful ones, they are my role model. I try to find hard what is the secret for this. So far, I think it is the high involvement of the parents as much as they can still do when they are finally at home, the 'seeds' in the kids themselves (ie. they were already born with this trait, lol), and a strong support net for the working parents, be it from the 'MbakSquad' as @mrshananto call it or from the bigger family group (which unfortunately I cannot rely on, being away from our home country).

so may God help me, help my husband to be the best parents we can be. I do not really care about the debate out there on women-men gender equality; multitasking mums or not. I just need to find my family to be in sync, balanced and growing the right way. Every woman has their best different way, every family has their own situation. God be with us all.

Kata Adam: Perayaan kumpul 17 agustusan

Hari ini Mama bawa aku ke Taman Tasik Titiwangsa. Abis minun susu pagi, mama bungkus mpasi (ga mandi lhoh) n bawa aku n nenek ke taman. Pagi2 jam 7.30 supaya ga panas n bln rame.

Eh taunya nyampe sana,emang stand makanan blm rame banget, tapi matahari cepet terik ya. Mamaku buru2 kalap beli bakso tp lupa bilang ga pake sambel,yg ada kepedesan n lanjut ganti ke soto. Aku jadinya ikutan ngences d,cuma diijinin mama ngabisin kuning telornya soto,abis itu disodorin bubur multigrain+pepaya+yogurt. Udah keburu laper,makanku lahap.ga peduli tempat,mamaku jongkok2 di jalan ngasi makan aku di stroller hihihi.

Abis mamaku ngeborong nasi kuning,nasi bakar n gudeg,kami lanjut ke area playground. Aku manjat2 di perosotan n ngerangkak di jembatan.pulangnya nemu sirkuit mobil balap,tapi mobil balap mini versi remote control.aku bingung kok suaranya kata nyamuk, wuz wuz. Untung mamaku bawa botol asi,jadinya aku bisa ntn sambil minum d.

Abis itu pulang aku digendong nenek di mobil. Asik d ga diiket di car seat hehehe. Kata mamaku ini sekali2 aja,bahayah lhoh!

Kata mama,tahun lalu mama n papa jg ke acara ginian,sama aku jg sih,tp aku msh dlm perut waktu itu.mamaku msh inget wkt itu jalannya susah,aku udah gd soalnya di perut mamah hehehe.pantesan aku doyan ama sotonya soalnya dulu di perut aku jg pernah icip-icip :D

11months

He is still my dear baby in my heart, but in front of my eyes, he is growing out of it :).
There are some 'jleb' moments to wake me up on this, like:
- suddenly he can peep up to the surface of my (quite high) bed,standing up. When did he suddenly grow taller?
- understand when i want him to look for the 'bola' and his 'elmo' book. Went straight to these objects when i asked him to,today. Though i dont get these same reactions when i say mama or papa hihi.
- pretend to fall down with face almost crying or quickly lie down on the floor face down when he wants me to go near him n play. Only to sit up n laughing once i'm near him. (manipulative kiddo in the making)

Love this

I love how she shared this photo to the world (thru twitter). Nursing (or pumping) at work looks easy, but it is hard work too. ** Pink and her daughter, Willow Sage **.

ps: I think the kid is already in sleeping mode in the photo, but nevertheless love the message this photo conveys. no work bars mums from lovingly give the best for her child.

Waving hello n bye

After 2 months plus of teaching him to wave bye/hello, he consciously (or automatically) does it every time someone walks towards the entrance door *grin*. So proud of my little boy.

With it,also came the separation anxiety that i've been waiting since he was 6mths. Not too bad though. Both of us are handling it well i must say :)

Ps:will post matching pix once i have it

Standing with hands on air

I spent my first overnight trip without Adam yesterday. N this morning, when i came back home, i was delightfully surprised to see him showing his latest act: standing up with his arms dangling up in the air for a few seconds, maybe 3 or 4 or more secs.
When i played with him on the mattress, he did the same act again repeatedly, propping himself up with the help of the wall, let go the hands, stand up for few seconds, fall down, laugh, turn his body around, and repeat the cycle again!
He is obviously enjoying it too!
Growing up fast my boy! #10m 3/4

Food for thought

Sudah beberapa minggu ini ARK lebih susah makan. Yg dulunya 5menit kelar,ini mah bs setengah jam lebih.blm klo udah bener2 ngatup alias gtm.
Mikir segala macam penyebab,ntah teething,lbh pengen main,msh kenyang ama susu,lama nelan krn udah naik tekstur dst.muter otak, nyoba beberapa resep baru blm ada yg top markotop berhasil mancing dia mkn lahap.
Eh taunya krn pengen nyobain ikan jenis baru buat Adam dan suami sukses nemuin ikan patin dr pasar, akhirnya ngubek2 resep n nemu disini. Hasilnya?.. Sukses berat deh ni menu baru buat Ark.

Lahap hap ! gini terus dong nak, mama kan seneng liatnya ;)

Resepnya kumodif sbg berikut:
Ikan patin (1potong fillet)
2bwg merah
3bwg putih
Kacang merah (sebaiknya sdh direndam)
Daun salam
Ini modifku: +Daun jeruk+sere (biar ga amis)

Rebus semua diatas smp matang (7-10mnt)
Angkat ikan,buang kulit,duri (aga peer nih,secara kecil2 ada duri nyelip)
Rebus sisa kacang di slow cooker biar tambah empuk (3jam)
Aku tambahin pasta baby sekalian buat karbonya.

Pas udah ready, krn adam lagi susah makan n aku takut dia ga nyaman ama kulit kacangnya, kublender semua dgn kuah n bubur nasi secukupnya.

Hasilnya: harum n nyam nyam!

Serve dgn sayur (td pake bunga kol) utk variasi mikronutriennya.

Ps: ga ada foto makanannya. Just my kiddo happy face sitting on the high chair

Circus on bed

Akhirnya setelah 1taon lebih nyimpan wall sticker,ditempel juga nih barang. Dari feeling so good bakal pindah rumah,mikir2 spot yg paling pas n setelah mindahin posisi kasur jauh dari arah ac,nemplok lah rombongan sirkus nemenin my ark (adam reidanu kaelan) baby bobo.
Ps:he loves it when i point to the elephants n monkey carriage,gives out a big grin!

My 10th month kiddo

Happy 10th month my champ! Here is what he is loving to do at the moment:

• lying down and relaxing beside or on me cuddled just after he wakes up in the morning.
• trying to wake papa up by calling 'eh eh' or 'mh mh mh'.
• sleeping sideways almost like hugging an imaginary bolster (but i'm not giving him one, afraid he will be so attached to it)
• shaking/swinging his arms happily when we hold him standing up straight
• guaranteed giggles when we hold him and swing him sideways or making him feel being dropped downwards

What he does not so likey at the moment:

• coarse food in his porridge. He used to be ok with it, but now he will stop opening his mouth if we give him such texture, or worse he will end up crying loudly. The poor guy. Probably he's not comfortable with his growing teeth either. Now we blend all the ingredients to make sure it is smooth.
• banana. he used to love it, now he loathe it!

All we need is love

Sometimes all we need is a massage to the heart. Seeing love is always recomforting & refreshing to the soul.
Stumbled upon this beautiful video on vimeo via here . love the dress, the guest chairs!, the video shooting, the tune of the song, and how all things blend and fit so perfectly into one theme.

9.5 Mths!

Yg ini late post, ga sempet kepublish2 :) Sudah berapa bulan ya anakku? Woh, sudah lewat 9 bulan :) Apa saja yang terjadi sebulan terakhir ini... yg gw inget:
- Adam pertama kali ngalamin demam, sempet sampai 39.3 derajat di malam pertamanya, tp kemudian turun di sekitar 38.3 dan akhirnya sembuh sendiri di hari ke-3. Gak aku bawa ke dokter karena anaknya gak terlalu rewel, cuma lemes aja bawaannya. masih senyum2 ketawa, tapi lemes. bawaannya tiduran aja, beda banget dari gaya sehari sebelumnya yg ngerangkak kemana2. Looking back, sepertinya dia demam krn infeksi virus/bakteri gara2 orangtua-nya (gw :( ) gak terlalu perhatiin higinietas tempat dia bermain. Ada 2x gw biarin dia merangkak2 di lantai/karpet tempat umum, krn 'keliatannya' cukup bersih, padahal sebenarnya nggak.
- Setelah demam sembuh, eh dia kena batuk2 kedinginan gitu, gara2 kitanya lupa kasi dia baju anget pas dia tidur mlm n kebetulan ac kamarnya dingin banget mlm itu. jadilah malam2 dia nangis2 kebangun n pas dipegang badannya, dingin banget! duh maafin kami ya nak.
- Nah setelah sembuh dari 2x sakit diatas ini, yang ada dia malah gampang banget cranky. Padahal pas sakit demam gak apa2 loh. Pembalasan kali ya, mumpung udah sembuh n udah balik energynya boleh dong cranky hihihi.
- Gigi atasnya udah mulai erupsi! 4 sekaligus sodara2! Apa karena ini jg doi sempet cranky berat.
- Alhasil, gw nyobain ngasih dia Gripe Water, Orajel versi Malaysia (Orrejel), obat penurun panas bayi dari dokter Uphtamol yg dikasih dulu pas abis vaksinasi pertama utk jaga2 klo panas. So far, yang kayanya rada ngebantu gripe water n uphtamol, walo aga ribet nyendokin 2 sdt obat ke bayi, tumpah2 keluar mulutnya. Dicoba ditaro di botol susu, dia jg reaksinya langsung nolak, krn rasa jauh dari susu kali yah. gw encerin dikit ama susu, dia jg kayanya tau itu bukan susu asli jd rasa susah2 juga. Nah, abis itu gw beralih ke Orrejel, yg bentuknya kaya salep n menurut instruksi tinggal diolesin n dipijet2 ke gusi bayi. Adam biasanya seneng banget klo ada barang yg masuk ke mulut, pasti langsung mangap2 n gigit2. Eh tapi ini Orrejel, mgkn krn rasa anggur yg buat dia aneh, dia marah2 deh klo gw masukin jari gw yg diolesi gel ini. langsung ngatup serapet2nya begitu nge-taste sedikit rasanya. yg ada boro2 bisa mijet gusinya, ini mah cuma sedetik ngerasain gusinya aja udah sukur.

Apalagi ya perkembangannya?
- baru2 ini dia mulai suka melambai2kan tangannya klo lagi pengen deket ama orang. tapi belum ngerti gerakan tangan bye2. pokoknya dia gak pernah sedih klo gw tinggal kerja, cuma senyum2 aja ngeliat gw say bye2. jadi gw blm ngalamin stranger's anxiety dia yg berlebihan. satu penyebabnya gw rasa krn dia merasa nyaman jg sama babysitternya. Syukur lah ada yg telaten jagain dia n ngajak main dia tiap hari selama gw ga di rumah.
- sekarang dia udah nyaman banget dengan posisi duduknya. Jadinya aktivitas merangkak kesana kemari nya dia malah rada berkurang. karena suka diselingin dengan posisi tiba2 duduk smbl liat2 sekitar.

On me, I'm starting to wonder when my m-cycle will come. Gak kerasa berarti udah 9bln+9bln gw gak direbetin sama acara bulanan wanita hihhi... emang enak sih gak repot jadinya, tapi memang bs lama gini yah. Hope it will start soon.

Segitu dulu d, kiss n bye!

Towards 9 months

My parents decided to come to KL to visit us & baby A this week. I've observed that Adam tends to talk/vocalize more when there are more people around him, it's as if he wants to join into our conversations. But yesterday he did one step further, so yes, another milestone. My mum was making funny sounds like 'brruuuttt' (almost like farting) & 'pfft- pfft' kiss sound with her mouth to Adam. Adam started immitating & he could actually master these 2 different sounds & he was really happy he could pick up these 2 new skills ... Then my mum started making a 3rd sound, it sounds 'klok.. klok...' but he couldnt immitate this one. So what he did... he crawled towards my mum who was lying low on the floor, stared closely at my mum's eyes, put his forehead on my mum's head like a bull about to attack,and then he slapped her forehead.. ahahaha! Of course, before and after he had this major grin on his face. This is like major social interaction step he's making. Not only he's immitating, but he interacts by showing his emotion thru physical show towards the other person :).. Few minutes after, he did another approach to my mum, but this time he deliberately landed a 'smooch' on my mum's lips. It's the sweetest thing!

So Adam's first kiss is with his grandMa. Record that son, it's not with some pretty hot chick down the lane that u will meet in 17 years time (or earlier) :D xoxo mum.

Back to Cherating

This weekend was an exciting mini-adventure-trip for our little family & friends. Thanks to my hubby yg udah organize event-nya, ngomporin org2 utk ikutan, nyari penginapan, n ngebook hotelnya, berangkatlah juga kami, 7 pasukan keluarga, sesama 'tki' disini hihihi...

Perjalanan dimulai dengan ngumpul pukul 9 pagi. Ngumpulnya di dpn condo kami karena tempat kami yg paling di ujung utara KL, paling deket ke mulut masuknya highway yg akan diambil. Yang berubah sejak punya anak adalah sekarang gw hampir gak pernah duduk di kursi depan mobil lagi, nemenin si kecil duduk di belakang. Untung ada hiburan lucuk si baby kecil ini, jadinya gak bosen gak liat pemandangan hihihi.

Perjalanan ini pitstopnya di tengah rute, yaitu di Temerloh rest area. Konon yg terkenal di rest area ini adalah sup ikan patin yg dimasak dengan sejenis durian 'tempoyak'. Tapi gw gak suka yah, rada amis gitu nurut gw, jadi andalan lauk cannot-go-wrong gw adalah apalagi klo bukan ayam goreng.

Kami sampai di Cherating sekitar pukul 1 siang. Jadi perjalanan mengambil waktu sekitar 4 jam. Cukup oke lah utk stamina badan. Jalan masuk resort ternyata sama dengan jalan menuju Club Med, resort paling ok daerah situ. Tapi ketika jalan bercabang kecil masuk ke hutan2 dengan jalan kerikil berpasir, itulah jalan yg musti kami ambil hihi. Untung sedan2 masih lewat dengan aman. Nama tempatnya Ruby's Resort dan ternyata kami disambut oleh si Ruby sendiri... seorang srikandi sini yg kesannya tegas dan galak tp sebenarnya ramah. Jadi gw sempet aga terbengong jg wkt kita baru datang dia udah standby di pintu gerbang resort dengan berkacak pinggang dan kaki ngangkang lebar huruf A (kebayang gak sih). Terus gw langsung introduce myself, sementara suami sibuk nyamperin keluarga2 lain di parkiran. Begitu si ibu tau suami gw yg mana, dia langsung teriak2 panggil Chris utk settle the bill dulu *LOL*. Plus ibu ini kayanya kaget temen2 kita banyakan jilbab n dia langsung bilang 'kalian tau kan resort gw pet friendly?'. Ya gw sih gak papa. Ternyata banyak doggy & doggy lovers di resort ini sodara2. jadi tiap kabin/kamar ada balkon berpagar di depannya utk anjing2 tamu 'parkir' disitu.

Resortnya sendiri sederhana tapi bersih (well, unit kita baru banget, abis direnov kayanya), n ada tempat2 barbeque n tree house. Pantainya i must say probably best spot in Cherating, sebelahan sama club med gitu loh. Pasirnya alus banget, tempat penyu2 merapat ke daratan utk bertelur di malam hari. Pantai nya tenang, klo soal jernih sih gak sekelas sama nusa2 or gili, tp bersih.

Pukul 3 pada berangkat lunch break (one thing i didnt like about this trip, or probably the only thing i didnt like abt this trip is the weird lunch hour). Jam segini resto jg udah tinggal sisa2 kan makananannya. Anyway balik2.. Adam ngegelendot tidur n lama pulak, gw jg nemenin secara gw nya jg cape dah berapa hari kurang tidur. Sementara yg laen2 pada berenang di pantai.. hix ngiri. Untung terbalas di esok harinya.

Malamnya kami bbq di dekat tree house. Adam awalnya gak comfort ditaruh di atas tikar di atas rumput, untung lama2 biasa. Gak terasa udah msk jam 10 mlm, Adam udah mulai rewel banget secara udah jauh lewat wkt tidur dia. Mlmnya dia rada cranky krn kecapean. Oh well.






Pagi2 kami tanpa dikomando ketemuan di pantai, nikmatin udara pagi, terus makan pagi, n abis itu Adam diajak nyebur sama bapaknya. Lama jg loh, ada kali 1/2 jam di dlm air, padahal Adam blm dipakein sunblock. Alhasil keluar2 dia udah lebih item 2 shade dari sebelumnya hihii. Sebenarnya Adam jg udah 1 minggu batuk2.. jadi hari itu dia jadi tambah beler ajah. Cuma untungnya anaknya gak rewel sih. (Update: Sembuh stelah 2 malam terapi tidur malem gak pake AC).

Di perjalanan pulang siangnya... (kami cuma nginap semalam) Adam tidur sepanjang trip. Tekor kali ya doi, secara mlm sebelumnya kurang tidur n paginya cape berenang. Minum ASInya banyak, cuma gw seneng dia minum banyak secara takut dia dehidrasi kepanasan itu loh. Dia cuma kebangun pas mobilnya slow down, tp giliran tancap gas lagi, dia tertidur lagi...

Overall, we had so much fun. Ini trip pertama yg berasa vacation trip bareng Adam, alias kita pergi ke suatu tempat cuma utk do nothing/have good fun. Trips2 sebelumnya biasanya banyak 'mata pedangnya' entah sambil shopping or culinary trip dst. Tapi kali ini kt ke Cherating, cuma utk having fun di pantai n bbq di area hotel. Bener2 bukan tipe vacation kita waktu dulu msh ber2 doang, klo pergi ke suatu tempat, pasti sebanyak mgkn tempat dijajal hihih. These are some of the things that change in our life, but we love it :)

ps: oyah, judulnya back to Cherating, krn we are 99% positive Adam was conceived there :)

Hello, I have grown! (7mw3)

Hello world,

I am going to be 8 months soon. These past 2 weeks, I have given my parents some little surprises:

- I gave them a hard night once, but the next day my 2 lower teeth showed up :)

- I can sit up with my back straight

- I can prop myself up to standing position as long as I got something to hold on to :) I really like to do this especially when I'm in my crib.
- I have started to do proper crawling (lifting my tummy up). I can do 5 steps like that, and then I'll go back to  locomoting ("merayap"). It is quite tiring to do proper crawling :)
 - I have learnt new syllables.. "yeay" and "chacha"... on top of my "mamamama..", "dadaa", "hey..." and so on :)
- I still dislike avocado but my mum keeps giving it to me, Mum says it's good for the brain and the body fat :) Ok, I will eat it but pls mix it with my other favourite food, like rice or banana :)

I don't know what new things I will learn in the coming month, but stay tuned, I will surprise my pa&ma again :)

7m2w

My boy can sit up straight now (since 2 days ago). Oooo he's growing fast :D

A thought on educating

I am copy & paste-ing this interesting article from www.kiasuparents.com (Yeah i know, the kiasu-ness of my teenage years in SG still linger on my skin ;) ). Since my boy is still really small, of course there are many other things that preoccupy my mind on how to raise him. Right now, it's more on ensuring he's growing healthily. But came across the below writing by 'chenonceau', quite an eye-opener i must say. Never really thought of teaching a kid the skills of learning, ie. learning how to learn, rather than learning the subject/object itself. http://www.kiasuparents.com/kiasu/content/adapt-your-parenting-style-your-childs-growing-needs

ps: The reason i copy paste fully and not just the link is just in case the article disappears from the website itself.

Adapt Your Parenting Style To Your Child's Growing Needs

See Also: 

 Forum Thread

I am not weighing in on the debate Pro-Drilling or Against-Drilling. Because, I do both depending on the situation. I rather suspect that most Mommies here do too. We all do a bit of both I think. I am also not telling other mommies/daddies what best they should do because I am not in their situation.

I went and dug out The Daughter's report book. Here is my story.

The Daughter scored 79 for English, 88 for Math in P1. She placed in the bottom 25% of her YEAR. However, in P1 she scored 99% for Chinese because Grandma plied her with assessment books. Little Boy's grades followed the same pattern.

English, Math and Science were my subjects to coach. Chinese was Grandma's. We took very different approaches. I looked past the grades in P1 & P2 for both my kids. In P1 & P2 my objectives were (1) they get used to school, (2) they adapt well socially, (3) they learn basic self-management skills, (4) the kinda keep up, (5) they like learning (6) they understand the value of diligence and discipline, and (7) they take full ownership of their studies.

These were all specific qualitative aims I had in mind. Not quantifiable but I wanted to focus on laying this foundation so that I would have a strong foundation of work ethic and self-management skills to build on in Upper Primary.

P1 & P2: Foundational Study Skills

I expected my kids to pack their bags, take notes, keep track of homework etc... That's tough you know for the little ones. So many times, they forgot their books. My son lost his exam schedule and I didn't help him get another. For 3 weeks, he went to school with his transparent exam pencil box because we didn't know when exactly his exams where and which day was what exam.

How to get good grades like that?

Nonetheless, whilst they were thus struggling, I was always warm and supportive ... and I gave a lot of loving advice. Next time, you need to remember this and that and the other. I had high expectations (about specific behaviors, not grades) but I tried not to help. I didn't gloat or say "Hah! You deserved it!" That's very mean and discouraging. Every boo boo was an opportunity to talk about how my child could manage himself better.

I gave very little drills at this stage. If they remembered to do their homework, I was happy. My kids "failed" at this stage but neither really failed as in score below 50. I did not allow that to happen. Their lowest grades were still 70+. I reckoned that that was what I could live with... believing that catch up was imminently possible from a 70s range.

P3 & P4: Transiting From Skills Focus to Grades Focus

By P3, they pretty much got the hang of the skills required to keep one's head afloat in school. They took notes, their bags were neat and they owned their study process completely because whilst I was encouraging and free with my advice, I tried not to help too much. So, about P3, I began to set grade goals (90+ for every subject).

At first, neither kid believed they were capable (since neither had ever scored in that range before except for Chinese), but I told them that I knew they could do it.

I began to PROPOSE drills, and because both are close to me, they do bend to my wishes even when gently proposed. Mostly I gave them past year exams from other schools. I planned the schedule and checked in every weekend to see if everything was done, and done well. At this stage, I was still refining study skills. I wanted to see careful work, good handwriting... I was less fussy about grades than I was about general work quality. I threw absolute hissy fits when work was shoddy and careless, but looked past genuine errors and absolute scores.

By end-P4, they were hitting the 90s in English, Math and Science. Strangely though, their Chinese grades dropped to the 80s. I kept telling Grandma that the way she taught the children Chinese made them feel like they didn't own the process. When they did well in Chinese, Grandma felt proud that she was a good teacher and hardworking too and conscientious. But my kids felt dispossessed of their glory. Their Chinese marks belonged to Grandma. Also, as you move into P4, the syllabus changes. Whether Chinese, English, Science or Math, the kids nowadays are no longer tested what is in the textbook.

By P3 & P4, kids are tested OUTSIDE of what is stated in the textbook. Grandma was still drilling textbook material. To score in the 90s for Science, Little Boy had to do independent internet Science research! We constructed Powerpoint slides, put him in a Professor's geeky glasses and made him present his findings. To score in the 90s for English, we were reading tons of storybooks and practising how to create metaphors, analogies and alliterative effects (e.g., Pretty Puddle of Pungent Poo). We read poetry. Basically, there was no way to drill our way to success because there was no way to predict what would be tested. Anything could be tested, and so I took a blunderbuss approach - LEARN EVERYTHING INTERESTING and HAVE FUN. Look at what teacher taught, ask questions of yourself and look for the answers on your own. Never mind if not in syllabus. You learn more and you won't die, and you'll have fun.

"The grades will come" I promised them. Back then, it was me putting on a brave front and being a brave mother so that my children would have the strength to carry on and keep trying. I couldn't tell them I didn't believe in them. In this way, I concur with Amy Chua... the best thing you can do for your child is to believe in him.

Meanwhile, Grandma went on drilling from the textbook. And whatever I said to her, she wouldn't budge from her time-tested method. She had been a Chinese Teacher in the past and had tutored even Mrs Carmee Lim's daughters (ex-Principal of RGS). She thought she knew best but her methods were outdated and designed for a syllabus and an approach that was past.

P5 & P6: ABSOLUTE Grade Focus

In P5 and P6, I became Tiger Mother. The Daughter came home one day in P6 and waved a Science paper scored 98% in my face. I said "It was an easy exam. The PSLE won't be this easy." The Daughter has never forgotten that scathing comment.

I reckoned that by P5 & P6, my kids had amassed enough resilience and process skills to take some knocks and I did knock them about, though never as hard as what Amy Chua seems to have done.

Starting P5, there was a consistent practice schedule which intensified as we moved into the 2nd quarter of P6. I devised the schedule collaboratively with my kids and I was sensitive to their mental and physical states. I had no qualms about deleting work if I thought it was too much. I wanted to manage my kids energy levels. Must always have time to recharge even if grades suffered meantime. The rule in the house is to NEVER TOUCH BOOKS 3 days before and exam paper. And I made sure I allocated whole days or whole weeks of NO BOOKS so that they could play to their hearts' content.

There was a constant process of watching and adjusting. There was a lot of trust and dialogue. I worked them hard but I made sure that I was there to encourage and listen to their problems. But they still owned their study process. I proposed a work schedule and they decided if they could manage. More often than not, they would ADD in stuff and tell me "Mommy, I can try." They knew that the PSLE was an important exam.

I also built in a natural reward into the work schedule. If they somehow did their work fast and well, they had that extra time to play. I never gave more work when they finished theirs earlier than I had expected. And whenever I could, and they had finished earlier than expected, I would take time off work to play with them. Go somewhere they wanna go... do something they like... together.

Results

The Daughter placed consistently in the top 3 places from P5 to Sec 2. In Sec 3, she was handpicked for an accelerated program where the others were smarter and just as driven as she. To keep up, she really pushed herself. End Sec 3, she was in hospital with pneumonia, a result of 2 months of flu and insufficient rest. She was so motivated that it had become a problem. I went to school and got an exemption for one month of homework... plus I locked up her laptop. She vegetated at home that month.

Little Boy is now in P5. He looks at the work schedule that we worked out and if I decide to delete an item, he will say "Leave it in Mom. I will try."

Unfortunately, The Daughter's Chinese marks at 'O' levels went down to the 50s. She hated Chinese and rebelled completely against Grandma's micro-managing ways. Little Boy's Chinese dropped to 79 for the first time in end-P4. So, I've taken over Chinese from Grandma too... and I'm doing it my way now. Read a lot, have a lotta fun, and to hell with textbook. I will be introducing exam practices later in the year however. Learn and have fun first. Drill later.

Both drill and no-drill are important to me.

My Objective

I don't need my kids to be the best in class... but I want them to be the best they can be. If what they can be is 80+, then fine... and seriously, The Daughter's class now is full of people who are so smart she and I feel stupid. That's fine. We're not as smart. And we don't need to be.

She got where she was not because she was smart, but because she was motivated. Motivation can get a child farther than a parent's best wishes and most beautiful dreams. The Daughter is no longer at the top of her class anymore, but that is fine because I know she has reached her potential and maybe even a little beyond. The same with Little Boy. I know he can manage 90+ in every subject if he wants to. Even Chinese.

The trick is to make them want to. And the first step is to turn the ownership of the study process over to them... and make them own it. This should be done early enough (I think). I have just sacked Grandma and turned the ownership of Chinese over to Little Boy. He used to roll his eyes when Grandma complained he was slow. Today, in the car, he said "Mom, I have a problem. I am slow in my compo. Others have done 1.5 pages, I've only done 1."

He now owns his problem and I play the familar supportive role "Oh never mind... you keep on reading those books and one day, the grades will come. I promise" and I look at him with a confident smile. This way, he will keep on trying... and he will end up where he ends up in Chinese. And I will still be happy even if it isn't 90+.

Not the Only Approach

I consciously took an approach where I focused first on Foundational Study Skills to the detriment of grades. It worked for me. I am sure there are other parents who focused on both at the same time quite successfully. I am sharing my story because it isn't a usual approach, but it worked for me.

7.5 Months

The tooth eruption happened! Teeth actually. The boy was so fussy for one night, woke up 3 or 4 times in the night. I even had to move to another bedroom to steal some sleep time for myself, otherwise there will be one more cranky person in the house ;p. And now we can see a little bit of his 2 lower front teeth now. No wonder for a few days beforehand he was also quite choosy with his solids, he only wanted to eat really soft food (ie. i had to sieve the food thru a mesh) , when usually he could settle for mashed fruit.

Now he's back to his normal wake-up-once-a-night cycle (cross finger) & he can eat back the rougher solid. I even tried to 'upgrade' the texture of his food. Made him some rice porridge with chicken broth. I thought if he didnt like it it would just mean he's not ready & I will defer it for next time, but hey... what do i know... the boy is gulping it happily just like any other food. Today i added grated chicken meat into the porridge, he really enjoyed it :) I add 'serai' & 'daun salam' into it, cooked it for 5 hours in the slow-cooker, and voila.. it smells so good! Serve it for my boy with a cube of pumpkin puree + home-made chicken stock, yummy!

intermezzo :)

7 Months

Seperti yang dirasakan setiap ibu, gak kerasa waktu berlalu! Baby A sudah 7 bulan 2 hari sekarang! We like to call him Big Baby now... 'cause so different from his helpless small state of being few months ago, when he's still tiny and so dependent on us. He is still such a joy to us of course. Throws the warmest smile, gets excited when we carry him around, dancing to the music or just going out of the house. Still loves to chirp around in the pool (unfortunately we the parents have not been so diligent in bringing him swimming). Still puts everything into his mouth (tissue paper and newspaper have been victimized). Does not like to eat roughly cut stuff, still likes it smooth. Moves around fast, starts to climb (over our body, pillows etc). Gains better control of his hands and fingers. Good job my boy! You are growing well & heathily & happily, we cannot ask for more!

Another thing that happened this month, is we shifted to another unit in our condo block. So fortunate to have found this unit in such a short time. It's a tad bigger, got 1 more room (for our helper), kitchen & living room & balcony bigger, and most importantly this place is somehow more homey. Love the new place. Here is Big Baby new crib corner.

Fly high to the sky!

One fine saturday n Adam's adventure with food

Setelah hari-hari kerja gak bisa seharian di rumah, akhirnya tiba juga hari Sabtu... full day with my kid, enough to make me feel a happy mum :)
cape sih seharian nemenin anak kecil yg aktif n gak mau ditinggal main sendirian, tapi seneng :D
Apalagi Adam sekarang semakin komunikatif, semakin seru klo nemenin dia main bareng. Sekarang dia udah lancar banget ngerayap kemana2. Udah mampir ke dapur, 'ndesel' ke bawah meja n kursi makan, ngerayap ngejar gw (yg dengan senang hati gw tunggu dgn tangan terbuka lebar siap meluk dia :) ). Suami gw bilang, 'sekalian aja taro kain pel di bawah perut dia biar bantu2 bersihin rumah' hihihi... Iya dia tuh ngerayapnya blm bisa smbl angkat perut/badan ke atas, tp tetep aja kenceng bergerak kemana-mana.

Soal makanan, hari ini iseng nyobain 'baby led weaning', alias ngasi makanan non-pure yg bisa dia pegang n taro ke mulut sendiri. Mumpung emak-bapaknya lagi tumben2nya makan bareng di meja makan (biasanya di sofa hihi) kita taro dia di high-chair dia (yg masih rada kegedean, jadi kita ganjel sama selimut dia), terus setelah berdoa bareng (perdana nih berdoa ber3 utk makan hihihi) gw kasi 2 potongan panjang pepaya di tray dia. Bener aja, dia pegang2 n dia masuk2in ke mulut. Ada yg patah n jatuh2 kemana2 sih secara licin, tapi ada jg yg sukses tergigit masuk ke mulut dia. Emang beneran bisa ya ternyata bayi dikasi makanan gini. Aga deg2an jg awalnya, takut klo keselek, tp pepayanya kebetulan emang udah mateng banget, jadi soft banget n gw jg udah sempet perhatiin dia bisa keluarin lagi bagian makanan yg terlalu besar buat dia telan. Kebetulan dia juga masih dlm fase oral juga, dimana apapun yang berhasil dia pegang akan dia bawa ke dalam mulut hihi.

I love my little son. Ini rekaman dia makan gasol/tepung beras merah perdana 1.5 minggu lalu. Maafkan suara suami gw yg bawel  dan sudut pengambilan gambar yg kurang profesional :)