growing A

A is growing rapidly. Ada aja momen2 yg bikin gemes liat dia tiba2 bertingkah kaya anak besar. contohnya nih..:
- tiba2 ngomong teriak dgn nada agak panik 'ati-ati' ke bapaknya yg lagi naik tangga buat gantiin lampu di plafon. memang kita sering banget ngomong ati-ati ke A, tp blm pernah dia sebut kata itu sendiri smp bener2 momen-nya pas :)
- klo lagi di jalan, sibuk ngabsen 'bas', 'dap' (truck), 'tsi' (taksi). excited banget ngeliatnya
- udah tau trik manipulatif ngambek caper. kadang nih dia pengen ama gw, tp gak mau dia ngelangkah yg fully approach ke gw. jadi tinggal 5-6 step lagi udah nyampe ke gw, dia sengaja berenti, balikin badan smbl nunduk2 pura2 gak mau diliat, padahal maunya didatengin n digendong ama gw ke tempat gw berada. yak, dan trik dia emang sukses2 ajah. gak tega gw ngeliatnya campur gemes hihhi. kadang2 mau  sesuatu, pura2 nangis (kedengeran banget nadanya dibuat) biar dpt apa yg diinginin. klo yg msh wajar2 aja gw msh turutin sih, abis lucu gitu ngeliatnya. abis itu klo kesampean langsung ketawa2 bahagia gitu dianya.
- udah fasih milih2 video di utube n buka2 aplikasi ipad, teken2 tombol 'back', 'home', sama unlock screen saver. emang yah produk apple inih so intuitive to use even 1 year old can use it. *malah muji produknya hahahaha*
- klo liat hp BB bapaknya selalu dikembaliin ke bapaknya (tp klo iphone gw suka diembat ama dia). tau dia mana hp yg bagus buat maen mana yg gak bisa dipake main haha.
- rajin naroh barang ke tempatnya (tp rajin jg sih mberantakin barang). jadi klo masuk rumah, lepas sepatu, pasti sepatu ditaroh di raknya. klo liat dompet apa kunci terserak dimana, pasti dia lempar ke meja tinggi lobby kita, tempat nyimpannya emang disitu. klo nyusun mobil2an di rak mobil nya pasti dia tarohnya mobilnya harus menghadap ke bawah dgn bener, klo kebalik dia benerin lagi..
- suka ama kucing (dari dulu sih). kadang2 tiba2 posisi all-4 di tanah nunduk2in kepala cium lantai kaya kucing (*dan gw langsung buru2 angkat dia, maluk gilak diliatin org anaknya tiba2 gitu ;p *)
- suka kumpul2 ama bocah rame2. walo belom terlalu bisa interaksi yah, tp keliatan banget dia enjoy ada sekelilingnya yg rame gitu, terutama sesama anak2,khususnya yg lbh gede dikit (soalnya klo sama2 seumur masih sama2 blm bisa komunikasi). kemaren ke tempat temen, muka dia happy banget sama anak2 laen ngejar2 kucing angora di rumah.
- udah mulai ngasi tanda2 bisa lepas dari mamanya. biasanya nempel banget. ampe gw ke wc pun harus ngintil *sigh*. tp sekarang ada 2 hal yg bisa buat dia rela ninggalin gw: 1. pergi sekolah; 2. kumpul2 ama sesama bocah. hoho, this comes sooner than i thought.
- klo lagu dia paling suka 'the wheel on the bus'. udah apal dia ama goyang2 tangannnya. entah udah berapa versi videoklip di utube lagu ini kita puter2. so far emang blm kita introduce dia ke tv, tp ipad rada kecolongan sih. gak nyangka dia suka banget sama video2 di utube. kadang2 gw sengaja sembunyiin ipadnya pas kami kerja. soalnya mbaknya jg jadinya bergantung sama si ipad ini biar A gampang makan. biar gak makin keterusan, lagian klo liat ipad lama2 gitu tiap hari matanya ntar bisa cepet minus ya? paling gw puterin klip lagu anak2 (dia cuma suka yg temponya cepet); video binatang2 dari national geographic or video kucing. ama kmrn yg dia lagi suka banget videoklip boneka2 tangan tokoh2 harry potter. padahal nurut gw biasa aja, tp dia suka banget ama hentakan iramanya yg berulang2, dia ikut2 smbl geleng2 kepala gitu.

- klo ada barang ngumpet di bawah meja n tangan dia gak nyampe, otomatis ambil tongkat panjang buat bantuin dia ambil barangnya.
- klo dibawa keluar rumah seneng banget, terutama ke taman bawah or taman atas kondo. klo dibawa pulang pasti marah2. susah banget bawa dia pulang dr taman. bahagia banget dia disana. bosen ya nak di rumah :) ?

2013 first posting

o mine, i'm such a slacker, suddenly we are in the middle of 2013 already!

many things happened this year.. where do i begin?

* Jan-Feb 2013: We sorted buying a property in suburb Jakarta, aka Jakarta Coret, aka Serpong. which means I had to go back and forth KL-Jak to search, do and finalize the deal. Property price has soared much in the past 2-3 years, we should have bought earlier, but then again always easier to say things in retrospect, than in prospect. Plus anyway, it is still the right thing to do. Luckily, i was able to sort things out in just 2 trips. Very efficient! ** I clap for myself  :D **

* I actually tested positive.. sometime in Jan.. but 2.5 weeks later.. things didnt turn out well and we've lost the sac thru natural bleeding. Since this is the 2nd time already it happened, I cant help to be very conservative the next positive time (and I hope I'm still given the chance to) happens, I will stop all physical activies, including long distance travelling.

* I've completely weaned Adam by Jan 13. I first started reducing the frequency of breastfeeding when he was 13 months (Sep last year) down to just 1 or twice a day (before sleeping or in the morning). I did it because I havent gotten my period back yet, and both of me n hubby thought we shouldnt wait too long before trying for a 2nd baby. So at least, i needed to get my monthly cycle back. Sure enough after 1 month, the cycle started back again. And in Jan, when diagnosed pregnant, I could also feel my supply was getting much lesser, my obgyn also advised me to stop breastfeeding since i was pregnant, though i read in many online articles that it can be ok to still continue b/f (noted that it is mostly not advisable esp for peeps who have had miscarriage history before, such as me). And anyway due to my supply was very low, Adam even refused to drink from me sometimes. So just like that, he stopped on breastfeeding, with not much drama. My 1 week trip to Jakarta in Jan, away from him, also helped to make him not look for me in the middle of night for breastmilk. Just stuck with his dad and grandma, he learnt to sleep thru the night without waking up. Though for the first few nights, grandma just automatically shoved him with milk at 11pm so to make sure he has a sound sleep for the rest of the night. Anyway, i'm so glad i dont have to go thru the weaning process with putting something bitter/spicy so he refused to b/f. Actually, i think i miss the b/f process more than him.

* In March, i was bombed with work. *ha, that's how i remembered it* By the 3rd week, time came too fast, it's time for my 8 days trip to Japan with some girlfriends. As usual, the last week before any long holiday is swamped with work, had no time to do my own reseach for the trip. But I know I can depend on C, one of the gals, to come up with a detailed personalized itinerary. We did Osaka, Kyoto, Tokyo. Lovely! I thought I loved Tokyo the most, what can I say I'm a city girl. Grandma from Batam took care of my kid once again, while I'm out of town..

* Back from my Jpn trip, i paid a visit to a near-by daycare (not so nearby, it's a 10mins drive if road is empty) which after researching in Nov, i have decided is the best place for Adam to start spending more structured time in a daycare. just halfday every day. So registered him and he will officially start in April 2013. My main reason to put him in the daycare, is so that he can have more structured activities during the day, learning words, having people talk to him, play n doing arts, rather than just spending time at home alone with our maid while me n hubby are at work. While hubby thinks it's a good time for Adam to start socializing...
Though I had my doubts. I was kind of worried whether we were doing the right thing. I was worried about the language, since we've only purposely stuck with Indonesian at home, and i was hoping that by the time he started daycare he would have spoken much indonesian already, but in reality he hasnt yet. so I was worried whether putting him in an english daycare this early would have a negative effect to both language. But now after 1 month, he is definitely getting bublier and his vocab growing at exponential rate, so i hope i was wrong. Then, my heart breaks every morning when i drop him in the daycare as he would cry very loudly when i left him with the teachers. The worst was the first full day, i was with him in the class the whole time, and when the director tried to call me out of the room, he cried so violently that i couldnt help to cry as well. O gosh, it was nightmare for both Adam n me :( It just caught me off guard that i would be the sad one too. I should have mentally prepared myself better. So next few days i just changed cold cut style and still left the place eventhough i can still hear him cry. After 2 weeks, hubby is back in town and he is the one dropping A to school... It is now 1 month that Adam has started the daycare, and since last week he has stopped crying when being dropped there, that's my good boy :D He also didnt cry when leaving me at home since 2-3 days ago, he clearly understands when his dad says 'Ayo Adam sekolah' and the fact that he's not crying i guess means he's enjoying it :D i'm so happy that he's happy :). Also, my paeditrician didnt really recommend putting Adam to a daycare before 2 years old, he did say his opinion is only from a medical perspective and i respect him for saying that. I guess I had to weight in all the pros and cons, and at the end of the day i thought the pros still outweighted the cons. And Adam had his longest cough n flu for 3 weeks in his first weeks of daycare (he was already sick before that). But after that he's ok. so i hope he is one of those kids who get stronger antibody once they are exposed to it.

*May 2013, 5th may was the 13th General Election in Malaysia. It was quite interesting to follow the election process. Noted that the opposition is gaining stronger foothold. What is interesting here is that it is very obvious that the country here is run /segregated by race. Even the PM can make such a ra*ist comment, I cannot comprehend how the no.1 person in the country can make such a quick statement which obviously will hurt a lot of people. And to start with his own alliance party also has its own 'party-by-race' structure. It is not a wonder that a lot are getting not satisfied with the govt. Although I must say, infrastructurally, this country is very well managed, with all the nice roads all across the country, and comfortable mrt in KL.

Ok, that's all from now. will post some pics once i have bits of more time :)

It's another Sunday wrap

So it's another sunday, and one very enjoyable one today. So much bonding with my kid and I still have this happy smile on my face, few hours since he began his night sleep, remembering all the fun we had today. Never had I thought that I could find the most wonderful companion in the heart of a one year old kid.

I can just stop this blog post here, for the risk of getting a bit more sentimental.
But heck, this is my blog right :) so i go on :D

So i looked into his eyes today and you know I wish what thoughts were rummaging in my mind could transcend to his eyes and into his mind, but I guess he knows it already. That I do love this little man of the purest heart! And I am just so thankful that this boy was the winner of a long-long race when he was still in mili-micro-metre size and emerged victorious, to come out into this world and finally born to us.

It's amazing to experience a developing interaction with your little kid and how fast the improvement of communication is. Like yesterday, i was looking for his water tumbler in the living room. And I was saying 'minum-minum' while my hands were pretending to hold a bottle and my lips doing 'sipping' motion, while i walked around the house to look for it. He looked at me and i just thought he is  trying so hard to understand what i was trying to do, and the next thing I knew, he looked around and found the bottle for me. Wow!
And how can I not mention all the silly dances (rather, moves) I do to make him smile, that not only draws his grin, but his loud laughter at times. And the hi-5 that we do. And the mini-tent games we play under the blanket :D
I love the way we are. So you know, this day I do feel very thankful, for the home that i am provided, for the luxury of time i have, for the good health that accompany me, for the work that doesn't stress me too much, all these co-exist together so well so I am able to spend precious time with my little child. What more can I ask.

15 months

Marks the first time he successfully climbs onto the coffee table himself.
He was so proud of it, he just sat down wriggling his legs left and right grinning from ear to ear.
(now, i do worry the glass will break soon).

running...

Gak nyangka juga, akhirnya gw mulai berlari... setelah sekian lama gak lari...
Awalnya liat beberapa temen di social media yang consistenly berlari, terus liat2 kok semakin mewabah. Selama beberapa bulan, gw cuma silent watcher aja sih... gw pikir, gw lebih pilih berada di rumah, ngabisin wkt ama anak gw, kangen klo udah seharian di kantor n rasanya anak gw butuh deh interaksi ama gw buat pertumbuhan dia (**sok bijak nih, padahal anaknya jg gak apa-apa** ya maklum jg maklum ibu dengan anak pertama mgkn rata2 memang instict melindungi anak seperti ini?). Udah gitu, dengan jadwal dia secara rata2 selalu kebangun 2-3 kali tiap malam buat nyusu smp dia umur setaon-an bikin body gw cukup tepar deh (**Loh, sekarang malah nyalahin anak hahaha**). Plus, klo soal lari, sebenarnya yg kebayang-bayang di gw itu cape2nya gw dulu pas rutin lari waktu SMA, inget di tengah2 lari mikir kok gak nyampe2 or cape ngedorong diri sendiri buat pace yg cukup okeh (yang bagian feel glorynya abis nyelesain lari udah lupa).

Tapi akhirnya mindset gw mulai berubah, n didukung jg oleh body gw yg semakin ready jg. At least, gw dah gak berasa gempor lagi pagi2 abis tidur dengan interrupted sleep. Anak gw udah gak sesering dulu bangun (ya masih aja sih bangun tengah malam, n kadang2 balik lagi kaya dulu klo lagi teething). Terus gw pagi2 jg udah gak seribet dulu pas masa 6-14 bulan musti nyiapain makan anak buat hari itu (dah lebih percaya ke si Mbak sekarang n jg anak gw dah bisa makan lbh banyak jenis makanan kan). Itu secara kesiapan fisik yah.
Secara mindset, mungkin ini yg lebih penting or at least a-must-nya yah (klo body siap, tp mental gak beranjak, emm... kayanya gw jg gak akan mulai2), keinginan utk mulai n mewujudkannya ini nih katalisatornya. So thanks terutama utk teman2 n even org2 yg gak gw kenal yg kelintas di TL twitter gw or baca2 di blog, yg consistenly berlari, makin improve pace n distance mereka n share ke public. Wow, positive influencer banget deh, efeknya kayanya kaya ombak bergulung2 yg semakin gede, krn kayanya sebelum gw udah banyak banget org2 lain yg keinfluence duluan ama lari oleh wanita2 hebat ini.

Lari pertama sekitar 4 minggu yg lalu. So far, gw baru lari di area dlm condo gw sih, enak deket, suasana nyaman n gak perlu parno ama safety. Dan lari pertama gw, jarak 2.4km. Wow, surprise jg bisa sampe jarak segitu gak pake berenti/jalan, hihihi. Mengingat terakhir gw lari, adalah waktu gw hamil 7 or 8 bulan, itupun mgkn pacenya udah mirip jalan cepat dan kayanya gak pernah deh lewat dari 2km. Enaknya lagi, sekarang bulan November gini, udah masuk musim ujan... **November Rain.. Kriuk..** jadi lari pagi temenan ama udara adem, enak deh. So lari dengan pace sendiri yg enak, gak kelewat cepet, tapi yg penting nafas lancar gak ngos2an, biar bisa aga long distance (eh buat gw 2.4km udah jauh hihihi). Lagian gw pikir,  dah gak Abg lagi nih, gak usah mikirin speed, yg penting latihan utk bisa cover more distance ajah. Kaya lari2 maraton gitu banyak org2 dewasa 40th-an yg bisa ikut bukan? N ternyata gw lupa klo running outdoor gini, jauh lebih enak ya daripada lari di threadmill. Ada pemandangan, ada angin2 sepoi natural. Jadi inget dulu wkt di Jakarta, kayanya taon2 terakhir gw coba lari lagi itu selalu di Gym dan gak pernah berhasil pick-up. Kayanya gw bosen-an yah lari di threadmill, kaya gak nyampe2 selalu di tempat yg sama. ya iya lah, org lari di ban berjalan.

So ok, by now Nike+ (sumpah, aplikasi kaya gini keren banget deh) gw udah record ampir 20km, dengan 7x lari. berarti rata2 2.4-3km gitu sekali gw lari. So far, gw lari 2x seminggu ajah. Pengennya 3x seminggu, tp dengan kondisi single mum on the weekend, susah nih buat nambahin 1x jadwal. Oh ya, di lain hal, karena gw punya sejarah ankle kiri terkilir (padahl udah lama wkt SMA) n sampe bertaon2 gw lari setelah itu, even wkt hamil kemarin, gw selalu bisa ngerasain balik mata kaki gw ini gak bener2 pulih. Jadi gw rada2 parno jg wkt mulai lari kemarin2. Stretching gw bisa lebih lama dari masa lari. Pemanasan 20 menit, lari 15 menit, pendinginan 15 menit hihihi. Tapi ga papa, ternyata magically ankle gw sampe hari ini gak berasa ada yg sakit/sensitif atau apa loh. Sempet ada pegel2 di tungkai kiri (parno kalo shin splint), terus abis lari ke-2/3, sensitifnya pindah ke lutut kanan.. tapi masing2 ini setelah istirahat total 3 hari gak balik lagi sih. Jadi satu lagi mental note buat gw, gw selalu mastiin gw rest total dulu sampe pegel/sensitifnya di kaki gw ilang, baru lari lagi. takut boo cedera..

So happy that i can conquer my own skepticism on picking up running. Mudah2an gw bisa konsisten lebih lama dalam berlari :) .

Oyah, gw juga register utk Brooks Half-Marathon di bulan Maret depan... tapi... bukan yg 21km Nek... hihhi.. cuma yg 5km ajah. sebenarnya kategorinya namanya kategori 'Schoolgirl'.. tp gw liat gak ada batasan maximum age. ya wes lah, antem aja online registration. **kan tampang gw masih layak utk anak sekolahan** hihhi**dilempar sepatu ama yg baca**. Oyah satu lagi sebenarnya event ini cuma utk Malaysian n Singaporean (kenapa Singaporean boleh, tp Indonesian gak boleh? heran deh). Gak tau ya, mungkin nanti pas ngambil RacePack gw bakal ditendang keluar, tp ya let's try lah. It's not like i'm going to win a prize anyway. But just trying to run happy n thought it will be fun to do it by joining an event :) Plus ini jadi semacam fixed target buat latihan lari gw.
Mudah2an by then, gw udah bisa ngecover 5km run beberapa kali :) Wish me luck.

10-11-12

Boleh dong ikutan ngeramein tanggal cantik 10-11-12. Tak dirasa, tanggal ini merayakan 5 tahun pernikahan me & hubby. This day this year gak ada special rose or anniversary cake, just a few phonecalls from the other side of the globe where he currently is to mark the moment (well, the first few calls were a few hours too early from the day :) ).

And i didnt even think to blog it till i heard on the radio this marriage joke:
Q: Marriage involves 3 rings, what are they?
A: Engagement Ring, Wedding Ring, and.... Suffer-ring... *LOL*
well actually the 3rd one should be replaced by "Endu-ring"

so, clink-clink.., here is for our endurance. Just like a race, hope we run and stick together till the finish line, and finish strong!

What i am hearing now is... "Do...." --> Doggy, "Ja" --> Gajah. "Tuh"... --> Jatuh. "Mik..." --> Nenen. "Mak." --> Nenen or Mam.
Keep going my little boy!

14 Months

Actually I dont know how long i can keep up recording his monthly milestones, because there are so many things happening and I'm sure there will be more that it's gonna be difficult to track. Anyway, here are the latest things that amuse me:
- He gets people to help him do what he want when he cant. For example, he always says 'uh uh..' while pointing at what interests him for us to help pick it up & give to him. When he wants to be carried by me, he will hold my legs and stomp his feet multiple times. And the last 'brainer' thing he did, was last night, he saw his favourite shampoo bottle (the one with the pump at the top which he can munch (and suck out the liquid a little bit) ) on the high table. He of course sought for my attention and asked me to take it for him. When he saw that i was doing nothing to help him. He actually walked out of the room, and went to my maid's room to call her. When she's out to follow him, he went to point to the bottle to ask her to pick it up for him. Haha, see he finds ways to get what he wants. i found it quite resourceful i must say! My doctor told me the day will come he will find ways to get things such as pushing a stool so he can climb onto it to reach top of table, but my boy thought of another simpler way, call other people for help!

- He chooses how much he wants to eat and the boy got taste! Now, i have to start racking my brain (and the internet) for some tasty meals for him. He is not so interested in bland food anymore or maybe he got bored with all the steamed-but-so-easy to prepare stuff. Since he's few months past 1 year, i have relegated for a tiny bit of salt to be put into his food, as it did make a diff for him to want to eat it. He loves yogurt (fruity one) & mango. I also cooked him spaghetti (one that tasted rally like real tomato-based spagehetti) and he loved it. Salmon alone he didnt really like it. but salmon with cauliflower & white sauce in chicken broth, he finished it! We stop giving him food when he refuses to open his mouth anymore. Hope he's not getting too skinny. As long as he is healthy.

- It is lovely to see him interact with people, esp. if they can really form sort of a bond. I see this amazingly btw him and his grand-pa. He even purposely looked for him several times during the vacay. And within few days was able to call him 'eya' (from eyang), though after mastering that, he doesnt call him by this name anymore. Whenever kiddo sees him, he grins with big smile as he knows he is going to be involved in some sort of 'game' with his grandpa, whether it is play & catch, rhytm and music, flying paper plane, or walk to the garden.

- He is fascinated by moving animals, such as cats and birds (ok, these are the only animals we see in the condo area). If he sees them, he will point to them and make funny amazed noises and will try to run after them.

- He hasnt developed more constantly-repetitive clear meaningful words yet. but he is definitely trying out new expanding phonics, sometimes he repeats word i say (or try to) though i doubt he knows the meaning of it.

- When we say no or 'jangan' or 'gak boleh', the more he will do what he cant do. Before 12 mths, he was obedient, but after that it's the opposite ;p

- He started to enjoy lying down on a soft bed, sitting down comfortably against a pillow, or just sitting down on a stair step, and sleeping while putting his head on my stomach or part of my body. Before this he only knows to sleep straight on a flat bed surface. Also, when i lay him down to sleep in the dark, he can actually enjoy moments of darkness without crying. Heyo, why this not sooner boy? ;p

- He developed interest with his plush toys (we have an ikea buldog, a tiger from the safari zoo, and a small bear), when he sees them he loves carrying them and give it to me one by one (actually dont know whether he likes it or thinks that i like it therefore he always gives them to me). but sometime, he will kiss them too. Oh, and he hardly gives me any kiss when i ask for it. However if i am still really sleeping and he wants me to be awake, he will kiss me :D am a happy mum. so sometimes i pretend to sleep so he can kiss me :P

so many other things, but these are the first thoughts that came to my mind right now.
catch up later!

2 weeks annual vacation 2012

As per every year, working in the same bank i've been, entitles me, or rather, mandates me to take 2 consecutive weeks of absence. The main purpose is to ensure if we ever do something fishy in the bank which requires some form of cover up done on daily basis, this kind of activity would be discovered when we are away for 2 weeks. Anyway, what i wanted to write in this post is how my this year's mandate leave, as we call it, is different in terms of planning, destination, and purpose, as compared to other leaves taken in previous years.

First of all, my 2 weeks vacation is usually spent to wander some unknown destination, or even if it is known/been-there-before, it will be places i've carefully chosen with main purpose to unwind, relax and just experience something different from being at home and explore new things. Secondly, it is usually carefully planned. And third, i go with some loved ones, ie. family circle1. the only exception is last year when i combined my mandate leave together with my 3 months maternity leave, that was heaven at home!

Way from the beginning of the year, i knew the holiday wasnt going to be easy to plan. Husband was free-er in terms of work at the first half of the year, so it was possible for him to actually go for a 2wks break (though timing wise, would still be hard to predict when to exactly go) in the first semester. One of our options and a long-time dream was & (still is) to go Europe together. However, as I was still breastfeeding Adam... I realized there would be some issues by leaving him alone in Malaysia (no way we are bringing him for a romantic 2 wks holiday far away ;p ), how much of breastmilk stock will he need, need to pump extra in order for him to be fully b/m via bottle while i'm away and not sure i could make the stock quota (at that time i was already waking up on avg twice a night to cater for the kiddo's b/f & it was already very tiring and i cannot imagine waking up once more to stock up, as during the day in the office i was already pumping 2-3 times), then will have to resort to to formula milk to top it up.. the last option was actually something i could accept... but the other thing that i couldnt  handle is to pump every 3-4 hours while we were doing our hopping holiday wandering (i had too, otherwise it gives me pain, and also i needed to maintain my production so that when i'm back i can still continue b/f kiddo, and the way to do that is to keep the pumping freq high), and that i will have to throw away the pumped milk as no way i will be travelling from places to places transporting frozen milk (believe me, breastfeeding mums see own b/m like irreplaceable gold bars, as they are so irreplaceable, so no way i'm watching my own b/m go down the drain :) ). I'm sure it would slightly melt before it gets frozen again and the cycle continues, which will make its quality poor, and not to mention the hassle of transporting it. So, i had a clear want and need: only go for long vacay after Adam has reached 1 year old, as his b/m need would have reduced considerably and so will my pumping frequency. The only catch was that hubby dont know if he could take long leave in 2nd half of the year.

So come  june, july, august... work schedule for my husband showed no sign of slacking. In the meantime, my boss is pressing me to clear my leave as soon as possible (my request to defer till december got denied). So here i am, taking my 2 weeks leave in Oct, while hubby till last minute was still on standby for offshore work (he finally left few days after me & kiddo flew off town for our break).

As for where to go, I dont have much choice, either i stay put here in KL or go back 'kampong style' to my parents home. Of course i took the 2nd choice, it's valuable time to spend with my parents. which later proves to be even more beneficial for Adam. In the beginning, I had my doubts whether I could really put myself into 'vacation' mode, since being nanny-less and hubby-less mean that i dont have an equal partner (at least in terms of agility) to take care of the kiddo. it also means that it will be energy-draining days and i wouldnt be able to wander around easily. So ya, it gave me the jigs.

But hey, after spending 2 weeks & back now in KL, all i can say is that for sure i am recharged. especially that i had 3 days of 'recuperatory leave' in KL & i made sure nanny is around even it was the weekend. Adam learnt so many new things with the help of his grandparents, and had so much fun with his grandpa who amazingly interacted very well with Adam. Mum helped prepare his solid food, and he got introduced to variety of food, now he can comfortably munch rice, crackers, pasta n all. So i have stopped cooking porridge altogether! Adam played so much with water (pressurised water from hose, splashing water from pail, flowing water from tap etc), leaves n flower from the garden, chicken and cats, visit to the zoo and beach. What more stuff can he be introduced? Yes, i didnt get to go around to too many places, as much as i would have wanted. But i guess not all holidays need to be spent 'fully charged'. This break was a 'slow-down' mode of vacation. Although not easy at the beginning (being fully charged with rapid pace at work) to move to lower gear, just when i thought i am getting used to it, the vacay ends, but at least i reaped benefit of it, and now, i hope i can pick up the city rhytm back well.

And to my boy, i hope he continues to grow and learn so many things, even in KL and under the well-care of the nanny (esp. when i'm away at work :( )

Right now i am just looking fwd for hubby to be back, to bring more 'life' back into our house. Till then!

ps: pic taken in Kuta Bali. Yes we went to Bali for 4 days and spent the other 7 days in Jogja.

13 Months and going strong

Adam big cornerstone the past month is to start walking. Yap, he has started walking everyday since 1week past 12 months. Few steps at the beginning,then followed by regular of 5-6 metres, and now it's pretty stable, esp. if surface is not bumpy. I can see that he will love to run around the house, as he already tries to, even when he couldnt properly walk like an adult yet.

His 2 lower teeth got 2 new companies, so now he has 8 teeth in total.
Oh another good cornerstone is when he started eating rice willingly, and boy he ate loads of them. It happened on our 2nd day of our Singapore trip. I think he benefitted from having breakfast/lunch/dinner with a big group of us and started immitating how we ate.

Few days ago, I brought him walking in the garden/playing park downstairs and he accidentally saw a cat, albeit quite far from him (10m away). He got very excited and screamed with excitement as he strides towards it. Naturally the cat ran away. But we managed to find him back. The next day I took him out again, purposely to look for the cat. And we actually found 4 cats, some hiding beneath benches or bushes. One, i was quite surprised with the degree of his excitement, but another fact that surprised me is when the next day i brought him to the same place again, he automatically bent down & went to look under the bench and bushes for the cat, even though no cat, while shouting the high-pitched 'mmmmmmm' word the way he's been calling the cats. didnt realize that at 13 months baby does have excellent memory!

photo taken during our trip to SG, Adam close to 13 months.

A quiet sunday morning

what changes since we have a child? A lot definitely, but one of them is how rare to get a quiet sunday morning, with the cool morning air swiping on my face, birds chirping to the delight of my ears, and a hot thick sweet tea to accompany my fingers dancing on the keyboard. Just like right now.

Ahhhh.... let me savour this moment for a while.... :)

Weekends with my boy

It's been at least 5 weeks hubby has not been around as he's away for work. With the home assistant off in the weekends, it's just me and my son in the house. Though it is very tiring to spend time with one busy active little kiddo, I actually look forward for this just-u-and-me time at every end of week :) ... well ok, actually by the end of saturday, i am also soooo... looking forward for my maid to come back the next day afternoon, at least to clean up the house and give me that 'me' moment break ;p

So, here's how we've spent our 2-back-to-back days together:
Waking up: he wakes up first (obviously) and mama always tries to steal more sleeping time, but usually fails miserably as the kid starts playing & tries to catch attention of the mum :)
If I'm still so sleepy, I'll just breastfeed him first, so I can buy more time before i fill myself up with enough energy to make him his breakfast :)

After shower and play, if he's sleepy, he will sleep. Otherwise, I will pick him up and off we go to do the weekly groceries. But usually he does need his morning nap, so I will wait for him to have proper nap (& then followed by lunch), before I take him to the super/hypermarket.

Supermarket shopping with him, means him on the stroller, big shopping bag hung on the stroller, and the heavier shopped stuff put in the stroller basket underneat the seat. It's all about balancing & gravity. I had to remind myself to be careful and not to spontaneously just pick up my kid out of the stroller when he cries, as the stroller may just topple down once he's taken out, as it did happen for the first 2-3 times I picked him up :) He doesnt really last being in the stroller for more than 45 mins.. unless he managed to fall asleep, which is quite rare. So usually i will have to pick him up (boy he's getting heavy) and after 10mins carrying him, I try to put him back cause otherwise my back will break! :P.

In the first few weekends, undaunted, I brought him to malls further away from home, as mama not only wanted to do groceries, but also some real shopping ;p But since he always cries on the back and forth trip in the car seat, I decided I dont want to really go thru it anymore (listening to his cries while i have to drive and focus on the road doesnt go well with my nerves). So after a while, I opted to only go to nearby supermarket/malls, obviously with more limited shopping choice (in terms of non-groceries).
Something 'clicked' in him though 2 weekends ago, it was by accident. Usually the carseat is left in the car and i will only strap him there in the car. But this time, the car seat was at home, and so i attach him to the seat and then I put him & carseat on the stroller (this travel system works, yeay!). He had this puzzled look when he was on a car seat but on a stroller, but i knew he enjoyed it, since he enjoys being put in the stroller (at least for not too long), it tells him he's off for an adventure :) ! And so, once we reached the car, i just had to move the carseat along with him inside to the car, so he didnt experience that 'strapped' feeling all over again. Then he started enjoying the car ride, like he's been enjoying his stroller rides... So from that moment on, he figured it's not such a bad thing to be put in the car seat (if i may read his mind)... he still cries on the trip back though, but it's really due to he's sleepy and want to catch another nap. Usually by the time we get home, he will already fall asleep which always happen only after the car reach our carpark! yeah, i still have to endure for his cries during the drive home, but it's not as bad as before.

In the afternoon, I will bring him out of the house for either some free-gym in the apartment's playground (he loves climbing up the slides & by now he has figured it's fun to go down on it too) or (if there is enough sun and i'm fit enough) i will bring him for a swim (which he looovvvess even more). Swimming is actually also my trick to get him sleep quite fast at night, so i can do other stuff while he's asleep, but it always ends up that i also get tired from swimming, hence means quick dozing off for me too.

Then dinner is around 6-7, bathe (or 3rd bath if he already took a 2nd bath after swim) before some play time, book reading (more of me reading, and him rummaging thru the pages), crawling around (and this includes me crawling too to chase him hehehe), listening to him babble and try to respond accordingly (with real words that try to rhyme his), nursing... then he goes to lullaland. Phew... that's done for the day! I will either doze off with him or spend some time browsing the internet. When the weekend is about to start and while I hurrily pack home from office, I actually always vow to do some office work in the weekend when he's asleep, but most of the time this fails miserably.

Sundays, by this time either i have no more pre-cooked food for lunch or too lazy/tired to cook, i will bring my son out to accompany me eating out. He enjoys sitting in a cafe/resto where there are other people he can observe. So usually i will bring him out after i'm done feeding him, so i can have my peace filling up my own tummy, while his is already filled :)

Feeding him is tantamount to a mess party in the house! I do let him touch the spoon (I have 3 spoons ready everytime i feed him), sometimes he dips his fingers into the bowl tryting to touch the food, then he will spurt out his food, throw the spoons repeatedly to the floor just to watch me picking them up and he will do the same thing all over again etc... but hey as long as he's willing to open his mouth, i'm game for it! afterall, we just want our babies to be well fed right. So the downside is... I will have a sticky supermessy floor and table by the end of it. so sticky that even wiping it with a wet floor doesnt do justice, that is why i say i am so looking forward for my maid to be back by this time :)

So afternoons, will be spent game-ing with him again, while i wait for my maid to be back. I have to say that handling him at this point of time is less tiring then a few months ago, as now he is more playful and easier to entertain :). Then before I know it the weekend is already over, and I do feel a bit sad that it's already over and that I have to be away from him the next day. But I know I will be him fully again in 5 days time :).

ps: I realized I mentioned a few times on the presence of my nanny/house assistant. I am surely thankful we can have such arrangement. And it surely made me realize motherhood and attending the house at the same time is not an easy job, so I salute all mums out there who can do it all by themselves, really hats off!

Look where i'm pointing Ma

Note: This is a post when Adam was #11 months.
Adam has mastered one obvious word, 'mbak'. Ya, unfortunately, he's using it in a very obvious manner, that i cant deny it. #nasib emak2 ninggalin anaknya kerja.
Of course i try to make him catch up with the word mama, but at first he kept saying babababaa, now a little bit of progress, when he feels like it he may change it to papamama.. #maybe just to make me a little bit happier, hehehe.

But ya,back to the original topic of this post, since beyond those words, he cant really spell out other names, he is using his finger to point to things that pick up his interest. It kind of amazed me that he picked up this kind of skill, seems like out of a sudden or out of the blue, when in reality it's really not out of nowhere - we all heard it before 'kids copy what their parents do', 'baby see, baby do', 'kids are like sponge, absorbing everything around them' etc.

Another example is when he picked up the fan remote control and started pointing it to the fan. Nevermeant to teach him that, but he just figured there must be some connection between the remote control and the fan, since every adult (me, dad, and the assistant) seem to be doing it now and then :)

so i guess, this is a reminder to me, how a kid's brain evolves fast, and to watch out for my own behaviour ;p otherwise he may just end up copying what i dont want him to copy ;)

1 year old

TGFH. Thank God for him. Our blossoming gift of joy, who continues to unwrap himself, revealing to us every layer of happiness that we didn't know existed as he grows each day.
I myself as a parent is enjoying and savouring every moment of it. Ah Adam, u bring the longest smile to our face and to our heart. May you grow healthily, handsome inside out, cheerful, and protected by our Lord always.

xoxo, proud parents of you, Mam and Papa.

Happy face, happy mummy

Motherhood, gender equality, multi-tasking etc

Are these topics myths, something achievable, or utopic state?

Every a few other days, I am bound to bump into this topic, be it by (accidentally) eavedropping some conversations of strangers around me, conversating it myself with friends, reading articles from the internet, youtube clips, friends thought & opinion, and so on.

I must admit that there are a lot of good thoughts, carefully articulated opinions, and well-founded arguments on this topic out there. Certainly there are no myths for the everyday's dillemma that a lot of mothers go thru, and if not everyday, at least some points of their lives. ie. domestic world vs working world, taking care of our children personally or taking care of ourselves first (which sometimes means taking care of our career first), and working-mum or SAHM (stay-at-home) mum, though i dont really like the last 2 terms, after all a mum who is full time at home is also a fully-working mum!

Following are some excerpts:

- Anne-Marie Slaugher, a successful woman in Obama's administration, wrote a long article on why she finally quit her dream job to be with her family instead. http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2012/07/why-women-still-can-8217-t-have-it-all/9020/. Excerpt:

EIGHTEEN MONTHS INTO my job as the first woman director of policy planning at the State Department, a foreign-policy dream job that traces its origins back to George Kennan, I found myself in New York, at the United Nations’ annual assemblage of every foreign minister and head of state in the world. On a Wednesday evening, President and Mrs. Obama hosted a glamorous reception at the American Museum of Natural History. I sipped champagne, greeted foreign dignitaries, and mingled. But I could not stop thinking about my 14-year-old son, who had started eighth grade three weeks earlier and was already resuming what had become his pattern of skipping homework, disrupting classes, failing math, and tuning out any adult who tried to reach him.

- A very inspiring and honest speech by ravishing Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg at HBS 2012 graduating class. She touches on gender equality towards the end of her speech.

However, for me, it all boils down to a personal choice. I dont believe we can have it all. For every preference we choose, surely we are letting go of something else. I also am not a multi-tasker. Though there is the adage that women are great in multitasking, I never believe I am one of them. I tend to overspecialize on something (and I tend to be choosy on this, choosing on one that I enjoy doing best and live the rest almost to oblivion) rather than on many things simultaneously. So for me, the topic of gender equality, the need to nurture and mentor more women so that more of us can be at the top of the business ladder, because we are a different sex than men and therefore have a different need, I still cannot fully comprehend the need of this.

Yes, I do see the benefit of mentoring for aspiring women in the professional world, but also equally in men. But I also believe this will come naturally for everyone, whoever performs the best will be rewarded and career advanced. Maybe I am too naive, or I am too fortunate to work in a pretty fair -working environment, hence I have not seen mal-practice on this? 

As I walk on this path of motherhood, I cant help to observe how my peers are threading their own paths. I am quite surprised that not only one or two of the brightest people I know have decided to quit their job to shift their focus to their growing child instead. Let me count.. there are at least 5 of them already.

So on one end of the spectrum, I see this fight that many women leaders are championing in the business world, that is, to give more way to women to excel at work. But on the other end, I also see many are happy to let go of their (professional) title and be rightfully at the heart of their home and happy about it! So, I do not think that satisfaction or excellence in one's life, especially in the scope of motherhood, can only be achieved in one way. I think every woman has their own different situation and what is the best arrangement/solution for one cannot necessarily be the same for another mum.

Let's not even talk about others for the moment, but consider myself. Until today I still choose to work, because of these reasons: a) I want to be independent and have a stable source of income and build a solid work resume, because the 'road' is still a long way to go. If there is anything that may go wrong in the future or that i do not surely expect to happen, I will still be able to support myself (and my small family) financially. b) Despite my numerous rants about problems at work, at the end of the day, it still gives me more satisfaction than dissatisfaction. It gives me reasonable challenge, reasonable tasks (so far) and exercise my mind. c) I am lucky my work is very flexible in terms of time. Today I came to the office at 11am. Most of the times I can come around 10-10.30 am and I find work is still manageable and my boss does not complain (though of course some nights I work my ass out from home). I can also bring back unfinished work to home, so I can have an early dinner/be home before the baby sleeps. d) Until today, I am lucky to have a home assistant. The baby is well taken care of (and well loved) in a one-to-one relationship. In some countries, this will probably be way too expensive to maintain.

Ya, so this arrangement still works for me. I do not know if it will still work down the road in a few years. There are some questions that still linger in my mind. Like will my assistant be able to teach my kids the things that I would like my kids to learn at his young age: words and reading, good manner, good habits, good discipline, good heart. will my assistant quality match with my (high) standard? I do have big question marks on this. Even by asking myself these questions, I can sense why some of my friends had quit their jobs, willingly. I think it also has got to do with perfectionism i must say.

But I have also seen very sucessful mums at work with very successful (very well behaved, smart, and kind) children. Unfortunately, there are not  many. In fact, I find there are more sucessful single women at the top of my work orgchart who are single than those who have family and children, let alone "successful children". For the sucessful ones, they are my role model. I try to find hard what is the secret for this. So far, I think it is the high involvement of the parents as much as they can still do when they are finally at home, the 'seeds' in the kids themselves (ie. they were already born with this trait, lol), and a strong support net for the working parents, be it from the 'MbakSquad' as @mrshananto call it or from the bigger family group (which unfortunately I cannot rely on, being away from our home country).

so may God help me, help my husband to be the best parents we can be. I do not really care about the debate out there on women-men gender equality; multitasking mums or not. I just need to find my family to be in sync, balanced and growing the right way. Every woman has their best different way, every family has their own situation. God be with us all.

Kata Adam: Perayaan kumpul 17 agustusan

Hari ini Mama bawa aku ke Taman Tasik Titiwangsa. Abis minun susu pagi, mama bungkus mpasi (ga mandi lhoh) n bawa aku n nenek ke taman. Pagi2 jam 7.30 supaya ga panas n bln rame.

Eh taunya nyampe sana,emang stand makanan blm rame banget, tapi matahari cepet terik ya. Mamaku buru2 kalap beli bakso tp lupa bilang ga pake sambel,yg ada kepedesan n lanjut ganti ke soto. Aku jadinya ikutan ngences d,cuma diijinin mama ngabisin kuning telornya soto,abis itu disodorin bubur multigrain+pepaya+yogurt. Udah keburu laper,makanku lahap.ga peduli tempat,mamaku jongkok2 di jalan ngasi makan aku di stroller hihihi.

Abis mamaku ngeborong nasi kuning,nasi bakar n gudeg,kami lanjut ke area playground. Aku manjat2 di perosotan n ngerangkak di jembatan.pulangnya nemu sirkuit mobil balap,tapi mobil balap mini versi remote control.aku bingung kok suaranya kata nyamuk, wuz wuz. Untung mamaku bawa botol asi,jadinya aku bisa ntn sambil minum d.

Abis itu pulang aku digendong nenek di mobil. Asik d ga diiket di car seat hehehe. Kata mamaku ini sekali2 aja,bahayah lhoh!

Kata mama,tahun lalu mama n papa jg ke acara ginian,sama aku jg sih,tp aku msh dlm perut waktu itu.mamaku msh inget wkt itu jalannya susah,aku udah gd soalnya di perut mamah hehehe.pantesan aku doyan ama sotonya soalnya dulu di perut aku jg pernah icip-icip :D

11months

He is still my dear baby in my heart, but in front of my eyes, he is growing out of it :).
There are some 'jleb' moments to wake me up on this, like:
- suddenly he can peep up to the surface of my (quite high) bed,standing up. When did he suddenly grow taller?
- understand when i want him to look for the 'bola' and his 'elmo' book. Went straight to these objects when i asked him to,today. Though i dont get these same reactions when i say mama or papa hihi.
- pretend to fall down with face almost crying or quickly lie down on the floor face down when he wants me to go near him n play. Only to sit up n laughing once i'm near him. (manipulative kiddo in the making)

Love this

I love how she shared this photo to the world (thru twitter). Nursing (or pumping) at work looks easy, but it is hard work too. ** Pink and her daughter, Willow Sage **.

ps: I think the kid is already in sleeping mode in the photo, but nevertheless love the message this photo conveys. no work bars mums from lovingly give the best for her child.

Waving hello n bye

After 2 months plus of teaching him to wave bye/hello, he consciously (or automatically) does it every time someone walks towards the entrance door *grin*. So proud of my little boy.

With it,also came the separation anxiety that i've been waiting since he was 6mths. Not too bad though. Both of us are handling it well i must say :)

Ps:will post matching pix once i have it